this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
207 points (96.4% liked)

Greentext

4483 readers
1803 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Everyone is allowed childish, irrational fears. Some people hate clowns, others spiders, water, etc. For me it's hornets.
>be me
>senior in high school
>a mistake in scheduling sophomore year led me to end up not taking a mandatory sophomore level science class as a senior
>alright whatever
>it's the last class of the day so that's good at least
>spend most of the time sleeping and dicking around
>ace all the tests anyways
It should be mentioned we were learning about biology and insects of some kind or another at this time, which prompted this.
>Some kid says he caught a giant fuck hornet and that he should bring it to show in class teacher says this is a great idea
>I loudly voice my concerns
>my hatred for the creatures are well documented
>am ignored
>I hear the foreshadowtron firing up in the background
>NEXT DAY
>in seat
>kid walks in
>has the biggest fucking hornet I've ever seen
>not as in "biggest I've ever seen in real life" this was literally bigger than any picture or video I've ever seen of a hornet.
>panic mode on standby
>kid brings it up to the front of the class and the teacher starts talking about hornets and stuff
>I can't even focus
>the hornet looks pretty docile at least.
>"Shake him a bit and see if that wakes him up"
>I make an insightful comment about why that is a fucking retarded idea
>I am ignored
>hornet does wake up, and it's pissed
>kid forgot to secure the lid of this shitty plastic container
>HORNET FUCKING PUSHES OUT THE LID AND FLIES OUT OF THE CONTAINER
>kids scream
>teacher says in a firm but calm voice "Nobody panic"
>she has the situation under control
>I do not
>Hornet flies straight toward me
>NOW IS A PERFECTLY GOOD TIME TO PANIC
>FIGHT OR FLIGHT ENGAGED
>FIGHT MODE ENGAGED
>bolt up, scream obscenities and throw my fucking desk at the thing
>misses entirely, skips off another desk and wrecks the kid who brought it in
>books and papers fly fucking everywhere
>whiteboard falls and takes out the front row of students
>the hornet's buzzing shifts from "I'm about to be angry" to a higher "I am completely fucking angry" buzz
>FLIGHT MODE ENGAGED
>teacher screams "ANON CALM DOWN"
>"FUCK THAT"
>football tackle through the group of children crowded around the door and bust it open
>hear the cracking of skulls on linoleum
>turn left and run out of the school, into my car, and drive home, still in blind panic
>NEXT DAY
>walk into classroom through noticeably broken door
>everyone in class has horrible bruises on them either from where the hornet stung them or from being caught in the collateral damage of my escape
>kid who got hit by the desk isn't in class, find out later he had to get a neck brace
>dead fucking silence
>everyone is staring at me
>say "I don't like hornets"
>sit down and pretend nothing happened
Fucking hornets, man

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Gullible 20 points 8 months ago

This guy’s working for the hornets. Get ‘im!!

( ╯° □ ° )╯︵ ┻━┻