Stop Drinking

Oh man, which time I quit? Lol. Let’s see though, in general the first couple days after a nasty binge, I would experience elevated resting heart rate, super easy to get winded, fatigue, tough time getting to sleep, inability to sleep for more than a couple hours at a time, random nausea, sometimes heart palpitations, brain fog, maybe some vomiting, off and on cold sweats and what I would like to call internal tremors where it feels like I’m shaking but my hands are steady.

Last time was the worst binge I’ve had and after a week straight of getting black out everyday on a couple liters of vodka a day, I ended going to the hospital to get some drugs to help me with the withdrawals. It was an insane and horrible feeling finally “coming to” saying where the fuck did this last week go and learning from my wife I not only almost died from alcohol poisoning, but I was trapped from the withdrawal symptoms. I tried cold turkey and I went four days straight with about 2 hours of sleep total. I was about to start hallucinating, I could feel it coming but I didn’t quite get there. Along with all the other symptoms I was also getting some serious anxiety and panic, I felt myself losing it and it felt like I was legit going crazy until my wife got me some vodka and after a few shots my system calmed down and I almost felt normal. It was at that point I knew I was trapped and wouldn’t be able to taper down as quick as I needed with the holidays ending and me going back to work and I decided I finally needed help so I went to the hospital. 0/10 not recommended, not my proudest time in my life…

Oh, and for the longer effect withdrawals. They seem to be less noticeable for me, but depression, increased need for sleep (probably paying off that sleep debt), still not feeling super sharp, either noticeably increased or decreased appetite, and little spikes of anxiety. But I also might just have some mental stuff I need to work on with a therapist as well. But I do notice that like the first couple days after I stop drinking, I feel worse in general, then a week after I almost feel weirdly good for a bit, then around week 1.5 to 2 I feel down and crappy for a few days (kindof a funk, then I even out.

Week 1 is dangerous for me because I’m feeling great and think I have it figured out so a few drinks on the weekend sounds nice and I surely won’t slip into a reckless binge like before…. lol. Week 1.5-2.5 is dangerous for me because it’s easy for me to slip back into drinking to deal with the funk and negativity I’m feeling. At a month it’s dangerous because I’ve forgotten most of the negative shit I went thru and maybe my wife is wanting a nice night cap and “I’m a changed man that can finally drink in moderation”.

Sorry, probably a ton more than what you were asking for but I find talking/writing about it cathartic and helps keep me going and I guess you happened to be my journal for the day, lol.