this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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This was my vote except for reincarnating. I'm sure one of them deserves it. Probably. Maybe.
Whatever we can find some other fucker to help us in the tavern.
I play a cleric in my party. Previously, we've been asked to recover and return a certain plot-important NPC who didn't exactly want to be transported...
We killed him, transported the corpse, handcuffed it, and then raised him at the destination. It's a lot easier to transport a body than a live half-elf who is actively trying to escape.
Did you draw dicks on his face?
We may be evil, but we aren't chaotic. A professional has standards.
So... High quality dicks then?
Naturally. Using Arcane Mark, so it doesn't wash off.
Thats my boy.
Just say "Why don't we just use the knife multiple times to cut the apples into quarters so two people get 3/4 of an apple while one gets half an apple? One person gets a quarter apple less than the other two but it's not a big deal is it?"
Whoever complains about this approach gets stabbed.