this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
229 points (99.1% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26980 readers
1624 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I think your experience that your finances are better on $45k than $110k is quite mysterious and could do with some further elucidation

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Like I said I have cognitive surplus. I don’t have to mainline takeout, drugs, and impulse purchases to feel safe.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Drugs like prescription and over the counter stuff to deal with burnout, or drugs like street variety, risk your life to forget your troubles drugs?

Yeah, these three categories explain the difference to me. Good for you, getting your life in order and starting to budget/manage money!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

For me, mostly pot, but also prescription drugs to get to sleep, to try and focus, etc. I did adderall for a while, ritalin, modafinil, microdosed with LSD, I did neurofeedback training.

And I ate out like crazy.

I mean, I might be able to handle a dev job now. I had some health issues going on before that job, and my housing situation was unstable, so I never really had a moment when I was just waking up, going to work, coming home, and being alone.

Now Im doing a job that’s so relatively easy (and hourly meaning I can just turn it off when I come home) that even living with a roommate and rarely getting that alone time, Im okay.

I forgot I also would get a hotel room or airbnb occasionally just to have alone time, I did bodywork and float sessions. I spent a lot of money managing my brittle brain.

Actually my intention is to go back to something like that. But the goal was to first learn to manage money, before I got the big salary again. Because I learned that I can earn six figures and still be paycheck to paycheck, so it’s pointless for me to take on all that stress if at the end of two years I’m still gonna be broke due to bad financial habits.

However, more fundamental than financial habits was self care habits. When moment to moment consciousness is comfortable, you don’t need much to be happy.

So for that, the men’s group is a really big factor. AND doing a job so far within my sphere of competence that I have no question of being able to perform.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

What a crazy life. I don't think you have a fragile mind, I think you had a series of impossible goals and incredible pressure to achieve them all. Together with some questionable to bad coping mechanisms, you were on a dark path. I'm so glad you're on a better path, with goals for the future and a better grasp of what is important in life.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not sure how much income taxes are for you but the gross difference is $65k and I'll assume you take home at least half of that. So $32k. Just curious like which specific categories of items were costing you tens of thousands of dollars that you were able to cut out? Is this the famous American medical expenses mainly? Just trying to be able to understand

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I don’t know man. The bank account I had then is closed.

I was using a thing called Tiller to pull my finances and categorize but it stopped working with my bank and I never found a good alternative.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not OP, but... I took a pay cut years ago not as dramatic of a cut about 104k to 72k. I no longer had to drive to work but took a bus so I saved 90 miles (145 km) a day in driving. So I had a big savings on gas, and car, and with the time savings I could switch my kid to a regular daycare because I no longer needed extended hours. I had more free time to cook all of our meals so I had a big savings on food versus take out all the time. I also had the time to do work on my house versus hiring out. I cut back on vacation budgets but we had time to get out of the house and play at the parks and trails nearby every day. All and all a cut in income but a big increase in enjoyment in life. For savings I was able to save about the same between the two jobs.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Easy to believe that you improved quality of life and achieved some savings, but the other poster specifically cited improvements in financial health after >50% cut which has me puzzled

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I agree. I'd love it if I could take a less demanding job. Burnout sucks and I would love to have more time for my family and hobbies.

I just can't see how that would work between paying my home loan and other living expenses.