this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I thought having a gf and getting laid would fix me. I am still the same, and now I am asexual because of this.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

now I am asexual because of this

If you feel like sharing. How did that happen exactly?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Sex slowly lost its appeal since I took no pleasure from it. I still watch porn and jack off only so that I can get back to work and focus on it. I am genuinely considering sterilization.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I think you ought to try a therapist first. I don't know your life but it kinda sounds like arousal might not be the root cause and something deeper is going on.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I dont really see this as something that major that would warrant professional help. I just dont feel sexual pleasure. There are other forms of pleasure. It's not that much of a big deal for me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Nothing wrong with asexuality if you arrive there by choice. I just think it's worth troubleshooting that loss of pleasure a little bit if you would like to be able to feel it, because it's pretty core to the human experience

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Vasectomy doesn't change anything wrt horniness etc. Removing testicles isn't possible, you need testosterone to live healthily. Unless you take estrogen to compensate, but that's another matter. It would help with horniness though. Some SSRIs could work too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Honestly, I wouldn't even think of using any meds or going for an operation, but because of how there are just things that make me horny all over the internet, I can't control myself. Horny posting is everywhere, and I can't even filter it out properly.

I know I probably can't be ever happy, but I just dont wanna be horny anymore.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

One of the most common side effects of SSRIs is not getting horny anymore, to the point of sexual dysfunction. Yet for many people this is a trade-off they want to make for not being depressed. For you it could be win-win.

Talk to your doctor, get a psychiatrist. It's worth it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

I'll take a look at that. Thanks.

[–] decisivelyhoodnoises 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Man you are saying you're considering sterilization, on the next comment you say that you have accepted that you will never find joy, and on the other comment you say that you think that nothing is that big that worths seeking professional help. Get yourself a favor and go to a therapist

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What I mean by that is that I dont have doubts in my mind. I identified the problem, and I am now looking into logical solutions. Why should I pay 200$ to a shrink for them to tell me the same thing?

[–] decisivelyhoodnoises 1 points 11 months ago

Because identifying the problem is just the first step. Working towards the solution is the next step and usually it is very difficult to make the breakthrough by yourself.

I had the same stance as you, I read many books, watched many videos and was trying to work on it by thinking about it by myself. However the progress I made when I actually decided to talk to a real person and working on it by actually exposing myself to the therapist is in a different magnitude