this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
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I don't know if it's perhaps a regional thing but, in the UK, "being patronising" is used pretty much exclusively in the pejorative sense, with a similar meaning to "condescending". I don't think I've ever heard (in actual conversation) "being patronising" used to mean someone is giving patronage, in fact - we would say someone is "giving patronage" or "is a patron" instead. We also pronounce "patronise" differently, for whatever reason: "patron" is "pay-trun", "patronage" is "pay-trun-idge" but "patronise" is "pah-trun-ise".
It seems the pejorative use of the word dates back to at least 1755, too, so it's not exactly a new development.
It's the same in the US, and has been ever since I can remember. No idea where this person lives that the positive meaning would be the first thing they'd think of.
What about patronising as in 'patronising this business'? A little archaic, but I do hear it from time to time, usually with the 'pay' pronounciation.
Then again, if someone is accusing me of being patronising (which happens a lot for reasons I don't quite understand, but I digress), it's split odds whether I'm "pah-trun-ising" or "pay-trun-ising".
English is weird (perhaps this is its wyrd?)