I have looked and looked and found many half-solutions, but what I would love is some kind of magic hardware that can be wired into a standard bulb lamp with socket switch/chain to make it smart without the built-in switch breaking the smartness.
By breaking smartness I mean shutting off power to the smart device or shutting off power to the bulb so it can't be remotely turned on. The latter is how most smart plugs work. The former is how most smart bulbs work.
I want something like a wire-in bulb socket like the one pictured but with the switch wired to a zigbee relay like a sonoff zbmini L2 so it registers simply as a toggle.
There are some small modules similar to this like the aforementioned sonoff zbmini l2 and those zigbee/wifi socket adapters so maybe I could hack something together.
or do I just gotta do a Kickstarter so everyone can enjoy this product?
Does your smart scenario have schedules and motion sensors?
You can use scheduling to clean up after your less attentive humans. Also, any LED replacement will mitigate bills to a degree.
You could wire in some kind of motion sensor or drop one near by to cause magic for the average humans in the place.
Since you're a little stuck, keep in mind (my "professional" HVAC lessons learned advice here) that any elegant solution probably was overthought to hell and back or found by luck or even lucky trial and error.