this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19โ‚ฌ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Here, unfortunately, YTA if you don't tip. I forgot once and had the server run after me to make sure something wasn't wrong. Some service folks take it personally if you don't tip, which makes sense given that their employers don't pay them shit. So yeah, you the customer foot the bill for ensuring these people can make ends meet... as if giving the restaurant your custom wasn't support enough.

The problem is that, like most other industries here in the US, the system is rigged against the working class. While not all restaurant owners intend to fuck over their staff (especially smaller, local places), it's how it works. Now, some places will automatically add gratuity to your bill under certain conditions, so check your breakdown to ensure it's not already included. This is becoming more common, which irritates me since I scale my tip based on the quality of the service rendered.

Also, we know it's expensive here. Don't bother coming here to complain about it, we do it enough ourselves. Tipping is here to stay for now and I don't imagine it changing for quite some time.

[โ€“] [email protected] 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Just to add onto this good answer, you are really only expected to tip for sit-down restaurants with service and bars.

For takeout, cafes, fast food, etc., you don't need to tip. A lot of places these have payment machines that just ask if you want to tip by default. You can safely hit "No tip" on these if you don't want to.

Ostensibly it's just to replace the tip jar for those who don't use cash, but the prompt appearing every time you pay by card has convinced a lot of people that tipping is what you're supposed to do in those situations, when in reality you have no obligation to.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Damn now I feel dumb for tipping at vending machines.