Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Yeah, I really didn't like my buddy's girlfriend. I could see right through her, and she was changing by buddy for the worse. She was convincing him that his image was shit, and it really damaged his confidence. He'd change his outward appearance for her, dropped his entire lifestyle, but she had abandonment issues so wasn't ever happy with any partner.
Turns out she was a narcissist, like bonafide. What went down next:
She graduates college with a STEM degree, while having freeloaded in his house her entire senior year (his mortgage)
She breaks up and moves out of nowhere, this several months after she insisted on all the other roommates get kicked out to "take it to the next level"
He goes suicidal, makes two attempts, but finds another lost soul to have a fling with, which starts to bring him out of the depression
Ex-girlfriend finds out about new fling, drops by house at 1am after having left the club (driving drunk, I'll add)
Makes a huge scene out front of his house, I'm there for my "shift" on suicide watch, she ends up kicking me in my fucking kidney while I was squatting and smoking a cig
He ends up depressed again, 3rd suicide attempt and he doesn't survive
I'm a pall bearer at 25 for my best friend since 8th grade
Fuck that bitch.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine what kind of horrible person does that kind of shit to anyone, let alone someone who struggled so much with their mental health.
It sounds like you were a great friend to him.
Oh my God that’s fucked up. I’m sorry for your loss. I hope there is comeuppance here somewhere.
Sorry for your loss
Final word being removed really drives the story home
Fuck. Thats enough internet for tonight. I wish guys would just buy a guybrator for < $200 and lose the retarded damaged bitches.
She breaks up and leaves him, he goes suicidal?
Sounds abusive and manipulative.
Ex girl shows up drunk and makes a scene, and friend goes into a full depression?
Your friend was not rational, no disrespect intended. Can't blame the girl.
No, he wasn't rational. As evidenced by getting suicidal over a relatively short lived romance (a couple years?). It was years in the making though, becoming co-dependent on this girl, who really didn't give a shit about him at all.
When they first split, we could tell he was slipping into some type of psychosis. I immediately got his parents involved, along with the rest of his support network. We talked him into starting up therapy, let his direct boss know what was up, got some HR paperwork rolling so he wouldn't lose his job trying to get mental help (two 3-day suicide watches on a psych ward).
Before the night of her assaulting me, I was actually on talking terms with her, and even enlisted her in trying to get my buddy's head back on straight. He was calling her 5-10 times a day, leaving "take me back I'll do anything" type messages. We had asked her to please not answer or call back anymore, letting her know she hadn't done anything wrong, and it was him that was sick.
But she wouldn't let it go, she would periodically answer the phone, and talk to him hours on end. Giving him hope that they'd get back together. And then ignore him for several days. We even offered to pay her and for her to go see his therapist, so she could get professional advice on how to helpfully deal with such an obsessed and mentally unwell individual; she refused. But what she didn't refuse, was to keep answering that damn phone and edging him along. She seemed to like the control, and in a fucked up kind of way, the attention.
In court, when she was being held to account for her assault on me, she claimed that she had attacked me in order to get him to hate her. She said she figured I was the person he next loved the most, and she wanted him to gravitate back into my sphere, away from her. But that's not what she was screaming that night. She called the other girl a slut (the other girl locked inside the house), and how my friend was a piece of shit for having cheated(!), and that the other girl would leave his sorry ass too.
She lied right there in court, stared me straight in the eyes after too, brushing away her fake tears. She was convince that everybody had bought her story, and that she was the victim in it all.
And then the prosecutor called into evidence a recording I gave to him when he had first contacted me as the affected victim in the case. The recording? A voicemail that she had left me within the first several visceral days after my best friend's suicide. When the funeral was still being arranged -- and it was a big one, my buddy had so many loved ones in his life given his age -- my buddy's mom asked me to call the ex and let her know she didn't want anything to do with her, and that she wasn't welcome at the funeral.
Her response to all that in the voicemail, having been forbidden from the funeral, now being played in front of everyone in the courtroom?:
Those fake tears burned right off her ugly face real quick, you could see her grinding her teeth, turning beet red with seething anger. Finally, the bitch had to shut the fuck up.
So yes, you're right, he was not rational. But I respectfully disagree that there isn't at least some degree of blame that she deserves.
(And sorry if it sounds like I'm dumping on you, I'm not meaning to. It's been a while since I've been able to vent about it all. Such drama, it occasionally bubbles up, will always be a tattoo on my soul.)
Did she ever end up getting charged for the assault? Such a terrible person, I find my self hoping there was some kind of consequence to her actions(also RIP best friend, you deserved better)
All good dude. Sounds like you are a good friend. She may have been just as fragile as he was, letting her emotions rule, not knowing what to do. Man if everyone had friends like you maybe nobody would kill themselves. But lots of people have friends like themselves, too.
Unless you have been with someone like that you don't get it. They break you down until you feel worthless so when they leave you have nothing.
I dated someone like that took me months to get to the point where I could even accept a pity date. Was so convinced that I was hideous.
Been there. Just saying she obviously had her own problems. He kept calling her, she kept answering; they were both told to let the shit go. It's a hard world out here. Everyone is looking for something.