Asklemmy

43970 readers

827 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

132

If you knew you were going to get Alzheimer’s at 65 would you have kids? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

60 comments fedilink hide all child comments

This has been on my mind lately. My dad is going through it, his sister has got it pretty bad and I apparently have the predisposed gene to get in my future.

I’m leaning no because I wouldn’t want to make my child go through slowly watching their dad’s mind leave them and also potentially pass it on to them when they get older.

It’s thrown me for a loop since I always imagined myself having kids and I’m around that age now.

What do you think?

Edit: I just want to say that I did not expect the kind of response this post got. I’m grateful for all of your comments and the perspectives it’s allowed me to peak into.

I also should mention that were I to have children they would most certainly not be burdened by being the crutch of my own personal journey of accepting and loving who I am. That is work for me alone and I would never unload that responsibility onto those I love and especially those who I’d be raising.

As for my partner not wanting kids, I would never consider forcing or persuading them to raise a child when they know for certain it’s not in their cards. This is another element in how I’ve been navigating this question. I love her with everything I have and I can’t imagine us being apart and yet there is a pang that lingers of the father I assumed I would eventually become.

Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful replies. They’ve helped so much especially since this is the first time I’ve voiced these thoughts.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

There have been some major strides in treatments that slow and/or halt the progression of Alzheimer's recently. I would think that in the next 30-50 years it would be a much more manageable disease.

I understand the concern of passing it down, but there is always adoption or sperm/egg donation, if you still wanted to be a parent. Honestly, nothing is guaranteed. You could die of something else long before Alzheimer's could develop, or you could live to 100 in perfect health. Most of us will fall somewhere in between.

I wouldn't let something like that stop you from starting a family if it's what you really want in life.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yes, my dad has been on medication that slows it, but it’s definitely taken a turn these past few months. We had to get the doctor to tell him to stop driving this month. It’s been really hard on him especially since he doesn’t know why and thinks it’s his fault and that it must be because he is simply too dumb enough to drive. It’s truly heartbreaking.

Also, that’s a good point that something entirely different could happen before Alzheimer’s.

I don’t have really any big fears in my life. I’m good with heights, I can run workshops and talk in front of hundreds of people. But I’ve always truly feared losing my mind since my psych 101 class in college. My plan is to go to a country that allows assisted suicide if I do end up getting it and can still make decisions in my right mind.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I think currently there are only two drugs that slow it down a bit (give maybe couple of years more) but are also very expensive and are quite dangerous (can cause brain swelling). So some improvements but still long way from a treatment.