this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
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I haven’t gotten shit done today because we are doing cluster maintenance tonight. I couldn’t even sleep in this morning in prep for it because my brain was like “nah we got that thing tonight we better be up for”
Seriously, where does this come from ? anything I know is coming up, I am frozen. But improvised events ? no issue at all, I can be ready within fifteen seconds. As long as it doesn't involve too many people, of course.
It’s anxiety, which really seems to be the root of most of ADHD
Exactly this. I know me. I know how quickly I can get sucked into something and look up to find I'm 7 hours deep from a hyper focus and completely missed The Important Appointment. If I don't do anything before the scheduled task, I don't run the risk of missing it because time doesn't exist.
That's why I started setting alarms with just enough time left do get ready for the thing
(sometimes they actually help with the anxiety)
And other times you set three just to be sure
Unless then you are constantly worried and checking the phone to confirm the alarms are actually set up correctly, for the right time, for the right day, and that the sound is up enough to be heard and that there's enough battery for it to go off... Alarms and notifications stress me even more.
Maybe because when it is far in the future you have all the time to think about all the things that can go wrong?
I don't personally think about anything, it's just the looming presence of a planned event that prevents my tranquility. But I don't think I'm imagining much. Are you ?
I figure it’s because I know that an event is going to take a certain amount of energy out of me. Energy is a finite resource that only gets topped off after I get enough sleep (I can’t take short naps either. I take forever to fall asleep.) Therefore, if I have something planned for the evening, I feel compelled to “reserve” my energy so I don’t feel too drained by the time the planned event happens.
By contrast, if something happens in the moment, I might have enough energy for it just by chance. I’m not concerned with “saving up” my effort if there’s nothing planned later, so I can go with the flow as long as I can keep pace.
Ah, right. I can relate to the energy part. Any social event is exhausting.