Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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I believe the undertone you're asking for here is "...and FREE", but let me point you in a slightly different direction. Campfire
Pay once, and own it forever. They give you the code so you can host it yourself. Does everything you're asking for, and can be easily extended to provide SMS if you know how to code (they may include an already existing interface for that, but haven't looked through the code in a long time).
It's not FOSS (as in free), but it's fully open-source, you can self-host however you want, and it's a pretty tidy UI/UX experience.
Free is good, of course. But I also have some gripes about how Band functions so I'm interested to see what else is out there. Thanks for the Campfire recommendation; I will check it out.
Well it's the 37Signals team (if you're familiar at all). They make good stuff. It's good to consider supporting any team who makes anything regardless of what you go with, so keep it in mind.
Asking for $10 across a large group families to cover the cost is easy to do.