An old friend/aquaintance I've not spoken to in a few years popped up recently and we got chatting a little over text. In the few years since we spoke she's had two babies by two different guys. They're ~6 months and ~2-3 years.
She said that we should get coffee and catch up properly, and I was sort of down, although I'm not really that enthusiastic about catching up with someone I've frankly not thought about in a few years. But hey, it's something to do, and it might be interesting. So I suggested a coffee shop near her and asked if she'd be able to get time away from the kids, but she said that no, she'd have to bring the kids along.
I don't want to be a dick but I'm really not interested in sitting in a coffee shop with two babies. They're mostly just going to be the focus of the occasion because they need constant attention, and I don't really like kids in general. And, if they cry or act up and attract attention I will hate that.
AITA? How do I tell her I'm really not interested in sitting with her babies for an afternoon?
Frankly, it feels like she's testing you. You mention you've been chatting a while and she might have the urge to test you among her children to see how you interact with them.
There's a good chance she might not fully realize she is doing this.
And it doesn't even mean she looks for a direct change in relationship status.
Her motherly instinct just tells her "here is this guy who seems friendly, but how safe is this for my children?"
So, if you're put off by this and have no interest in her or the circumstances, just let her know gently.
If you blow up on her directly about her kids you'll just upset the mother in her and she might not understand, and you might be seen as the a-hole.