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They chose one another, and are toxic af. They argued constantly, my mom physically, mentally, and emotionally abused me all my childhood and still tries.
Shortly after I was born, my dad bought a small adobe house 18 miles from town, it had 1 pull string light and one plug socket in each room. There was no bathroom, and no indoor plumbing when we moved into it. My mom grew up in NYC and could not cope with this. Everything my dad did he did for the betterment of the family, my mother saw anything not directly for her as a slight against her.
The fighting and abuse got so bad I used to try to get my dad together with my friends with single mothers moms.
Mom mother finally moved out of the house a few years ago. It has been the best thing for their relationship.
It is a dangerous thought that "mothers are holy". No, they are very much often not.