I never kept a journal consistently because writing my thoughts felt like giving anyone access to them, and thus, I felt pressured to write like an eloquent Socratic philosopher just in case anyone DID read it.
An interesting discussion on r/journaling about being honest, or not, in one's journal. And how the OP found it to be tiring.
What do you think?
And do you lie or simply make yourself look better in your journal, just in case some would read it?
I tend to agree with the OP. But, I also understand that desire to please and to be liked (and to not be judged) just in case someone would read that journal, even without our consent.
I also think that when one stops being honest in their journal there is a very real risk to lose interest in journaling altogether. Which I would not want to happen.
I did lie for a while in y journal, openly I mean. I called that being 'hypocritical' but it was only me lying to myself and to that hypothetical and very unwelcome reader. It did not last long, it was during a very challenging time with a lot of self-doubt... not that long ago as a matter of fact. I stopped doing that soon after I started as it was exhausting and not very helpful. And not fun at all.
Also, there are much simpler way to tell lies to an audience. Being an actor or a politician are two obvious ways of doing it. Or be a writer and write (or sketch) stories in which you lie. Not all stories are lies, but many are and that's perfectly OK.
Stories are great as in them one can pretend absolutely anything. And they're also much simpler to share than a journal, if that's what you're wanting to do. I mean, beside traditional publishing in books or magazines there are many places and communities one could share their ~~lies~~ stories to an audience more willing to believe them ;)
I do try to be honest, since the main purpose of a diary for me is to process my baggage, stresses, etc. On that same note, I'm also mindful of who's feelings I might hurt in the hypothetical case an entry were read aloud... Unlikely, but still.
It may have only occurred two or three times in the last decade, but I can think of a specific case where I was writing about some stress with a family member, and then decided to stay my hand on that particular entry, because I knew they were under investigation for a crime (not against a person, but an institution) and there are no specific protections in my country for diaries. So out of an overabundance of caution, I just cut that entry short and just wrote about the weather or something for that day haha.
That's something I worry about too. My solution is to not write about some stuff (very few, mind you) but I know it's not a good solution since, in theory at least, no one will read my journal. I'm even slowly coming to the conclusion that it is not helping me at all reflect on whomever/whatever it is I'm refusing to write about. Quite the opposite.
Yeah, that's one motivation to no write, or not everything.
I don't think there is much in mine either, beside our basic right to privacy, if a judge wanted to read my diary they probably just need to order me to give them.
Out of topic question, if you don't mind non-native speaker me asking:
Do you mean to moderate (or censor) what you were writing?
Stay my hand means to hold my hand back from what it was going to do. Censor doesn't quite capture it (too active), but more passive, like left that part unwritten.
It's a somewhat archaic way of speaking. :)
Thx :)