this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 135 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Animals don't need to wipe because they don't have massive glutes evolved to support an entire upright body while also walking and running. This is the curse of our intelligence and endurance.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Let’s cut the shit, it’s the curse our fat asses.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Let’s cut the shit

With a poop knife?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

Only way to be sure.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

Technically humans don't have to wipe either. But it would be like dried Nutella in a shag carpet.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Something like that happened to "a friend". During a several day hike, a #2 in the wood was wiped a bit too hastily and some of it was missed.

Now the remnant bits dried and glued the hair from both cheeks together, during the hike after that my "friend" could feel the hairs being pulled from one side to another at each step he was taking.

Not a great experience.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

you know, you dont have to share every thought that crosses your mind

[–] southsamurai 9 points 2 weeks ago

No, no, thoughts like that are the entire point of the internet, and language itself

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Seems like that would result in a constantly itchy butthole? I guess one could get used to it.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Did we evolve to like butts because walking upright upright was advantageous? Or did we evolve to walk upright because we liked butts?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

The baboons have been oddly quiet since you asked this

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

Butts are the original boobs.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Something that blows my mind is realising how much of our understanding of sex and attraction is socially constructed. For example, there are plenty of documented cultures where women's breasts don't have the erotic connotation we attach to them. The thing that really threw me off was learning about some people who don't kiss as a show of affection — I found this a surreal concept, because in terms of romantic interactions with a partner, I'm fairly meh about sex, but I'm a big fan of kissing/making out; There's a sense in which I obviously know that preference towards kissing is likely not an evolved trait, but more sociocultural, but it feels so intuitive that something so visceral isn't necessarily an innate trait.

Anyway, this is a long way of saying "did we evolve to like butts, though?". Evolutionary biology, the field that would consider questions like these, is unavoidably pretty heavy on the speculation side — given that humans have evolved to be such social creatures, we can't really separate out the sociocultural aspects of development from the genetic side, and that makes asking evolutionary questions on large timescales to be a tricky endeavour.

Edit: This isn't to say that asking these questions is pointless to do. I appreciated your question precisely because it's the kind of thing that cooks my brain (and I enjoy that)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

We'd have to engineer a race of humans without butts and see if they managed to breed.

[–] southsamurai 2 points 2 weeks ago

I dunno, but some other brother might deny

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Does walking upright make the butts more or less visible? They're slightly higher but less prominently displayed.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

OK, I was gonna say it was because they don't have big fat butt cheeks like humans but I like your version better. It's glutes. Yeah that's it, glutes.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

This makes so much sense.

I've only ever seen this scene in German, where the guy doesn't say "buns and thighs", he just says "Oberschenkelmuskeln" (which means thigh muscles) and I think that's beautiful.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've heard spongebob in German is a quality experience

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They put a lot of effort in the translation and voice acting. Whenever a joke doesn't translate, they come up with something in the same spirit. Sometimes, I like the translation better.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

As you said, it's very well done, aside from very few impossible-to-solve issues*. There might be some bias at play since I grew up with it, but I'd say it's on par with the original dub. You can check out some examples here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOiBiRt-TOw