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How can I help get my friend clean from DRUGS? (reddthat.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Friend relapsed on drugs. It happens a lot. Rehab doesn't work. It's eating me up. I know they have to make the changes too. I know this doesn't rest in my hands alone. They need to want to be clean.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I know this doesn’t rest in my hands alone.

It does not rest in your hands at all. NO ONE can or will stop ANYTHING until THEY want to. And they have to REALLY want to. Just going to rehab once or twice doesn't indicate that specifically. I was in rehab with someone who was there because if he didn't "do something" his work was going to fire him. I don't think it was his first - I know it wasn't his last, he was in there again while I was still in aftercare. That was 12 and a half years ago now ... I just found out a couple months ago that he died, drinking.

The real kicker is he'd completely reset his life - he'd moved 6 hours away from here - HE WORKED AT A TREATMENT CENTRE - complete "success" story on the outside, but clearly there was some shit going on inside that he wasn't talking about or dealing with.

We can't fix other people. All we can do is be there if and when they reach out for help, and hope for the best. It's sad, but it's life.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Second this. Even if you chain him to the wall he will find a way to use drugs. You can't stop him.

The pain you're in is because of you; you need to give up the idea of changing him. You can't change him. Give up.

He will live or die and it is entirely in his power, not yours. You have no control over this.