this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

Super socially awkward and anxious in middle school and high school and was also bullied a ton. Girls would ask me out as a joke, and there's no good response. If you say yes you're a dumbass for thinking they're actually interested in you, if you say no you're gay and should kill yourself. Combined with being an impressionable teen with incredibly negative self esteem on reddit at a time where something along the lines of all men are rapists was a common sentiment, it really honestly fucked me up. I still am not comfortable with romance and intimacy with women to be honest.

[–] bestboyfriendintheworld 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Female bullying culture is very cruel.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Children are just cruel in general. I have a giant scar on my stomach from an appendectomy gone very wrong and I used to get made fun of for it in the locker room. They called it my C section scar.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 days ago (1 children)

in middle school, a girl in my grade died at summer band camp from a bee sting….
a group of girls called me to tell me she wanted to be her boyfriend. i declined, as it wasn’t the first time i had the joke girlfriend trick played on me…
but i guess the prank was, i was supposed to say yes, then be heartbroken when i found out she was dead…
instead i was heartbroken that anyone would try to do that to anyone.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's horrifically fucked up. Children really do be out there causing misery for nothing, huh..

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

oh yes… i was bullied a lot, until i was lucky enough to grow taller than most of them….
i feel really bad for smaller kids who never got to stand up to their bullies….
if you want to be really horrified, read up on Kelaia Turner.
i was thinking lately, that might be why there’s so much school shootings (i hear the uk has a lot of school stabbings)….
but if a particularly mentally ill kid is ganged up on and terrified constantly by a large majority of the school, it seems more likely that they’ll do some extremely antisocial behavior… especially if teachers allow it and even join in a little bit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

(i hear the uk has a lot of school stabbings)

It is a lot in a sense that every number above zero is a lot, but really numbers aren't even comparable.
Overall, in UK from 2012 to 2022 there was reported 36k cases of violence in school. Meanwhile, in US 443,990 teenagers fell victim to school violence in 2022 alone

https://www.met.police.uk/cy-GB/foi-ai/metropolitan-police/d/september-2022/knife-crime-offences-schools-august2012-august2022

https://www.brightpathbh.com/school-violence-and-teen-mental-health-statistics/

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

a tangential point to go over, but cases of violence compared to victims is different… as in the us, with guns, one case of violence would have a lot more victims that a stabbing…
so it would be better to compare incidents of violence involving a deadly weapon, especially more indiscriminate mass attacks instead of just fights… and then adjust for population….
still probably not comparable but a lot closer….
and, i suspect, the bullying is a lot less over there and the school staff is a lot more involved in stopping it…. but that’s just a guess.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 23 hours ago

The data in the links follows up on exactly that

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I tried to explain to someone that her all men are trash rhetoric isn't gonna help anyone do better and the response was that they didn't care, men should just be better or other men should be responsible for making them better but she sure wasnt. I think she grew out of that.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It taught me to stop feeling as a defense mechanism and I never really started again. Hooray for depression 🎉

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I've shut it all down and can no longer relate to people. Hooray