this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2024
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Bidet.
I gave up on reddit years ago but whenever someone posts about bidets it reminds me of my favorite reddit exchange
Someone posted asking why americans don’t use bidets. I commented, saying “am american, use bidet. Love it, shits tight”
Eventually a reply came from a confused esl person asking me if I had a constipation problem because they didn’t understand the colloquialism “shits tight”
I think about that exchange more often than I should
I mean a bidet would help with tight shit as well.
A bidet is a miracle device, helps in any and all situations. Diarrhea? Solved. Constipation? Solved. Regular? Surprisingly, solved. Wanna do the front too? Can be a bit awkward but it's got you covered (in water, of course). Washing the throne? Solved. Basic calculus? Solved. Advanced calculus? Believe it or not, solved. Taxes? Avoided. Marriage counseling? Ever since I got my bidet my wife says my "stench is less appalling". Solved, baby. I even use it to water the garden and defend my house from intruders.
Cannot recommend enough.
Thirsty? Solved!
Neti pot? Solved!