this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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In "who left their bag here"'s case, the gender of the person is not known because their identity isn't known, so it doesn't feel strange to use (for us old farts). It can take some effort to retrain your brain to use "they" when it's a single person whose identity is known (speaking from experience as a Gen Xer).
Or the person might just be a transphobic asshole. But I like to think that most just need to educate themselves on using pronouns correctly.
I mean, I'm mid 30s, and it took me a long time to internalize "he, she, they" rather than "he, she, it". It's just how they were used when I was growing up. Fortunately, I've had the opportunity to learn and grow. At the end of the day, just speak with respect and make sure you listen as much as, or more than, speak.
I agree. It's hard to put myself back in the old mindset (and I was definitely not supportive of this type of thing back in pre-2014) but I really do think I used to use "his or her" more often than "their", or at least in more formal settings.
I remember on Mark Rosewater's Tumblr blog he ran a Q&A (he is the lead designer of Magic: The Gathering). Someone was asking about cards using "his or her" instead of "their" because not everyone uses he/she pronouns. His response was basically that the reason they did that was because they used the Chicago style guide and it said to use "his or her" when referring to a single person of unknown gender. Basically he said that he understood players have different genders, but it was just a style thing, and that the rules even said something about "his or her" referring to the player (regardless of gender). Since then, I believe Magic cards now use "their", so it's possible Chicago's style guide changed (or at least Wizards' policy did).
It's a stupid excuse, use a different style guide going forward that uses "their" to refer to third person.
I'm glad they changed it, I'm still burnt out of the game because of design issues (board wipes, counterspells), repetitive cards with little innovation, and shitty business practices.
I get where you're coming from, but if you have a problem with the Chicago Manual of Style then you have a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.
Reminder: this was over a decade ago.
I'm 47 and it just came naturally to me. 🤷
"They" made more sense to me than "it" in the first place.
Come to think of it, I still call babies "it" when I don't know the gender all the time though.