this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2024
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I recently rewatched the video of the woman on the plane screaming that the passenger beside her wasn't human and it got me thinking about something I've seen.

I remember seeing a teenage girl in a small food store I go to address the guy behind the counter as 'human'. "Thanks, human." Stuff like that. I think she was just doing a bit or something but I thought it was strange.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The descriptions you wrote resonate a lot with myself.

I'm often "robotic", I even sound like some LLM as someone recently accused me of being. It's not AI, it's me, although I'm not sure who exactly...

That's because I often find myself fighting with me, as if my essence/soul and my physicality/body were two distinct entities. Part of me wants to "just be normal" (whatever that means), while the other part of me finds no purpose at all, a nihilist perception from a cosmic level, all the way to myself and my existence.

And there's my brain, often diving itself into an almost obsessive seeking for information and knowledge. I try to learn as much as I can find (self-teaching was always an easy thing to me), and I dive into a whole ocean of information and knowledge across several fields, from STEM fields to philosophy and a syncretic spirituality (from several belief systems). Deep inside, it's me trying to flee from myself.

I feel like I exist in a bubble of myself, with my own culture, habits and thoughts disconnected from "other humans", as if I couldn't really get to understand the "invisible and unwritten rules" while having my own "invisible and unwritten rules" which nobody else seems to understand, yet deep inside I know there are people similar to me, struggling to cope with themselves and their surroundings just like I struggle to cope with myself and my surroundings.