this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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Chronic Illness
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A community/support group for chronically ill people. While anyone is welcome, our number one priority is keeping this a safe space for chronically ill people.
This is a support group, not a place for people to spout their opinions on disability.
Rules
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Be excellent to each other
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Absolutely no ableism. This includes harmful stereotypes: lazy/freeloaders etc
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No quackery. Does an up-to date major review in a big journal or a major government guideline come to the conclusion you’re claiming is fact? No? Then don’t claim it’s fact. This applies to potential treatments and disease mechanisms.
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No denialism or minimisation This applies challenges faced by chronically ill people.
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No psychosomatising psychosomatisation is a tool used by insurance companies and governments to blame physical illnesses on mental problems, and thereby saving money by not paying benefits. There is no concrete proof psychosomatic or functional disease exists with the vast majority of historical diagnoses turning out to be biomedical illnesses medicine has not discovered yet. Psychosomatics is rooted in misogyny, and consisted up until very recently of blaming women’s health complaints on “hysteria”.
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You've already gotten some other good answers, but here's the original post by Christine Miserandino who coined the term: https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
I'm very familiar with the concept but I had never seen the origin of spoon theory. Holy shit is that powerful
This is a complete tangent, but I work at an office job, where we're allowed to work remotely, but we meet up in the office typically once or twice a week. And I have this colleague, who decided a few weeks ago to do a work+travel thing, where she stayed in a city at the other side of the country and worked from there for a whole week.
Then we talked about when we should meet up in the office again in the week afterwards, and I suggested Tuesday, so she'd have Monday to kind of recover. As we talked, she mentioned that she would return on Sunday evening and that she had already separately made plans to come in on Monday to meet up with other colleagues, and then for separate organizational reasons, she ended up deciding to also come in on Tuesday.
Like, fuck me, here I am being mindful of her spoons, when she's more like a bucket chain excavator.
So I work a physical job with mental components. I'm always the lead on a team so this is my job. I have to do a lot of spreadsheet work, emails, teams, etc. Then I have to physically work quite hard most weeks. I often have to travel for work, sometimes many hundreds of miles. If I get lucky I get to fly.
What you posted seems almost like a joke, for real. Monday I have to get up early, rent a U-Haul, go and pick up heavy equipment, transfer a shitload of tools into the rental truck, drive two hours, make nice with everybody at one location, get forms filled out, badging, etc. Then drive another two hours to where I'll be working Tuesday. I will unload hundreds of pounds of gear, work all day, and reload all that gear that evening. I absolutely have to get Tuesday's work done or we're fucked. After I get the test results from my work on Tuesday, I'm going to meet another guy in the middle, 45 minutes each way, and give him the testing equipment. Then I'll be driving another two hours back to the original site. On Wednesday I'll be unloading the gear again, and I can start the primary job.
When I see someone saying oh no she had to get in on Sunday night, then come to work for two days it's a fucking joke.
Check your goddamn privilege.
What I'm saying is that I have chronic fatigue+pain and I'd be on a solid 9 out of 10 on the pain scale for the whole of Monday. I would be genuinely worried that I'd pass out from pain at some point. I cannot even process what it would do to me, to try to also come in on Tuesday. That's why I completely misjudged how difficult this would be for her, even though I was aware that she's healthy. I just assumed even healthy people would run out of steam, if they're doing things multiple days in a row.
If your levels of health allow you to work that job, then ~~check your goddamn privilege~~ honestly good for you.
Hey, I'm sorry.
I was aware of what community I'm in but I assumed you were describing a healthy person. Which ended up being true but I didn't take it from your perspective.
I'm generally physically healthy but not mentally. I'm on several medications for my mental health. I have to bring myself to what feels like death to me, from exhaustion some weeks, some are not so bad.
Thank you for sharing.