United States | News & Politics

Millions of leftists who somehow secretly make up the majority of the US population yet never vote like it, would suddenly appear at the polls and usher in a socialist utopia. Climate change would immediately stop. Everyone would drop windows and install Arch. Unix socks would replace stockings on the mantle this Christmas, the major broadcasting networks would replace all their content with star trek reruns, trains would sprout up like weeds replacing cars and somehow take everyone where they need to go despite how spread out much of the country is, veganism would go mainstream with people meeting each Sunday to discuss more ways to avoid meat while cows, now liberated would stop burping and start dancing in exchange for tips, every copy of mariah carey's christmas music would vanish...