this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2024
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Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Harvey’s Hamburgers counted the times I punched in 1-3 minutes past my official start time (despite me being there 20 minutes in advance all times) as being “late” and fired me based off of this.

The two other employees were both pregnant with the manager so I have a suspicion that I got fired because at that time I couldn’t get pregnant. I still can’t get pregnant now because I’m a man, but I also couldn’t get pregnant back then.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I glanced at your username after reading this and thought it said PregoBoi lol

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Finally after all these years I learned that u actually can get pregnant as a man as long as you eat so many perogies. It’s a food baby and mines named Samantha.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Now that there are no other men around I can impregnate all the women. Oh wait, I already did that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Homie out here flexing with his extremely motile sperm.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That managers name? Elon Musk.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Dudes name was Clint. Imagine giving birth to a human child and then looking down at the pink noisemaker and thinking “that’s a Clint”.