Really applies to most things. I'm not a dude, trans woman, but I've gotten sexually harassed a lot both pre and post transition and the response I got pre and post transition is night and day. Pretransition people treated me like I was crazy for feeling unsafe and like I was supposed to enjoy it.
Honestly, men should be allowed to feel unsafe around women, or really allowed to feel unsafe in general, and be taken seriously for it.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I'm a guy.

I've been sexually assaulted multiple times in my life by both genders. The last time was at the hands of a boyfriend who made me no longer want to be Bi. I haven't been with another guy since and only date female now.

Honestly the response has never been in my favor. At the hands women it was ignored or blamed on me and by men I was told that I should have enjoyed it more. I've been belittled for not being gay enough to take being assaulted in public. And told I was being a problem for having it done to me in a work setting with apologies made for the perpetrator and then myself sent away.

I never get to feel unsafe and I never have gotten to feel seen for it. Not by other men. Not by the LGBTQ community, not by women, not even by doctors. It's devastating and yet there apparently is no right time to ever bring it forward. It's horrible that it feels we have specific socially acceptable ways to be traumatized and most of them are against men. And yet the loudest resistance feels like from the people being hypocrites cause it makes for an easier narrative.

I don't like people anymore.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to type all that. I'm sorry.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

No need to apologize. Glad you shared. Never apologize for getting something off your chest.

I'm sorry no one treated your abuse seriously.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

Thank you.

I'm sorry I kinda had a panic attack after I sent that.

Thank you again.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 day ago (1 children)

One downfall of what I only hesitantly refer to as modern feminism (although really I'm talking about terfs and the terf-adjacent) is that it has painted men as dangerous by default. I'm also a trans woman so I've seen both sides of the coin, too... I do feel less safe now, this is true. Many things were easier when I was living as a man. But I was never dangerous or an abuser.

Nonetheless, a former partner used accusations of abuse against me and turned so many people on me. The only ones that stuck by me were former romantic partners, who knew the accusations couldn't have been true. For everyone else, it was so easy to accept that a man - even a clearly gentle one - would be an abuser.

In reality I've been a victim of abuse - physical, emotional, sexual... All long before I transitioned.

[–] felykiosa 2 points 15 hours ago

Im so sorry for you,hope you are better now ❤️

[–] felykiosa 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I'm a guy and I have a cnc/rape kink (want to be ) but if a girl try to do it for real I would kick her ass no matter how pretty she would be. If you start thinking with your brain I don't understand how a guy could enjoy someone that toxic and disgusting.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

You think that now, but in the moment when you realize the option is to either A) beat the shit out of your roommates girlfriend, definitely get arrested for it, jail, miss work and get fired, court, jail again or probation at best, DV charge following you for the rest of your life, or B) Just fucking let her do what she wants so you can eat a hot pocket and get the fuck to sleep after your 12hr shift so you can get ready for the next one tomorrow: you might end up taking option B.

[–] felykiosa 1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Nah I live in France its a little different on this topic , people are less biased on this subject (even if its still difficult to talk about man who get assaulted ) .And for the jobs that's a little bit different too. Must be horrible to be in this situation in America though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago

That may be different indeed, I do not know. In America, if a guy were trying to rape me I could literally legally kill him, so that's something, but women can't "rape" in the legal definition because the legal definition requires penetration, so at most it'd be sexual assault (this may be the same in FR actually, btw, it is in more places than you'd think), which is legally defensible by normal force, BUT: women, while they may not be able to physically outmatch you, wield the power of the police force and ruining your entire life against you and the ones that would be raping you (well, me anyway lol) know this and use it to their full advantage. You CAN NOT tell the cop "yes I broke her nose but it was because she was trying to rape me." The cop will probably just call you a homophobic slur while he definitely takes you to jail and leaves her with your cats.