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dear introverts, what can I answer to a needy and clingy coworker who believes not talking means something's wrong (with me), so he leaves me alone? (programming.dev)

submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I go to work to work because I need a paycheck, not to make friends.

Where I am there is a new coworker that to me acts needy (think of Slow Horses's Struan Loy), tries befriending me, but he invariably asks if everything's ok. I don't care about this person's life.

The first 2 times I didn't think anything of it, but he asks that every day and it's becoming tiring.

I feel mobbed and stalked, mobbed because he keeps insinuating there is something wrong with me just because I don't ask him about his private life and do my job, and stalked, because he is so fixated on me.

going to HR over this seems ridiculous, but I'm starting to hate his voice.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

To add to this, OP may want to put their thoughts down in writing. An email or memo or note or anything as long as it's not a text or other personal non work form of communication.

Lay it all out, over write it, put too much detail and then pare it down to what OP believes to be acceptable. Have some copies of it.

Give them the written missive that boils down to "leave me alone" Make a note of the time and date.

If the co-worker keeps being a pest, go to HR, with a copy of the missive, and a note of the date it was given to co-worker so that co-worker cannot wheedle their way into making it about them trying to "help" OP.

Also, fuck every co-worker who pulls unprofessional shit like this. It's abhorrent and borderline harassment.