this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
505 points (98.3% liked)

Programming Humor

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I promote based on lines of code removed.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I quit based on idiotic metrics

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ah, the idiotic idiotic metric metric.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I'm sure it was meant as a joke, not a serious criticism.

I think we can all agree that managers who have no idea what's important absolutely suck

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I don't know what the age metric has to do with anything.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Which is all the easier to do when you start off with a higher number...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Add heavily verbose/redundant math equations that take up multiple lines with each operation saving to a new variable, then either decrease the number of variable declarations or condense/simplify the math occasionally. Repeat with each new function. Killing two metrics at once LOC and the removal of LOC for older functions. Guaranteed promotions. lol

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I love deleting code, including my own, more than writing code. That's a killer metric imo.

[–] mindbleach 1 points 1 month ago

With enough golf, every language becomes Perl.