this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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Programming Humor
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Management: Gee whiz, we really have no idea how to gauge productivity to decide who gets promoted. We could manage. Or, better, we could just have someone write a script that pulls info from git on how many lines of code each person has written.
Programmers:
I promote based on lines of code removed.
I quit based on idiotic metrics
Ah, the idiotic idiotic metric metric.
Are you 14?
I'm sure it was meant as a joke, not a serious criticism.
I think we can all agree that managers who have no idea what's important absolutely suck
I don't know what the age metric has to do with anything.
Which is all the easier to do when you start off with a higher number...
Add heavily verbose/redundant math equations that take up multiple lines with each operation saving to a new variable, then either decrease the number of variable declarations or condense/simplify the math occasionally. Repeat with each new function. Killing two metrics at once LOC and the removal of LOC for older functions. Guaranteed promotions. lol
I love deleting code, including my own, more than writing code. That's a killer metric imo.
With enough golf, every language becomes Perl.