this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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All of my IRL friendships are based around activities - we play games together, we volunteer together, etc. When someone moves away and we try to keep the friendship going, it always just sputters out after a few weeks or months. It just seems to devolve into small-talk / catch-ups that neither of us are really interested in (I don't mind small-talk too much, but it can't be 100% of any meaningful relationship).

So: What is the point of a long-distance friendship for two people who have no plans to live locally again? What am I missing?

EDIT: I have close conversations in person that are deep and meaningful, just very rarely over text. Maybe I ought to phone or video call once in a while..

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[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well, not everyone forms connections based on shared activities; and even those who do, some activities can be done long-distance (debating philosophy, sharing music recommendations).

For a lot of us, we don't stop caring about someone we don't see long-term (though I'm told this is a neurodivergent trait to some degree) so even a friend we haven't seen in years we can talk to and have it feel "fresh".

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I am ND, so part of this is trying to diagnose what I'm doing wrong and part of it is trying to understand what everyone else is doing haha