this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2024
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"The U.S. is more problematic because it is harder hit by a range of issues that kill people even before they hit old age, including drug overdoses, shootings, obesity and inequities that make it hard for some people to get sufficient medical care."

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 days ago (7 children)

I had two grandmother's who made it to 95. One passed earlier this year. The other is still doing great, though starting to slow down.

The one who passed essentially spent the last several years wishing it was over. Mentally she was still there but her body was failing her. She could barely see or hear. She also had no balance. Essentially, she was a prisoner in her body. She repeatedly told people that she wished it was over.

My other grandmother is still doing as well as can be expected, both cognitively and physically. She is still active doing huge crafting projects and winning competitions. Even so, she has made it very clear that she is ready to go whenever it's her time. All of her friends are gone. She has outlived every family member her generation as well as one of her children. She spends most of her time at home doing the same things day after day. Friends and family visit sometimes but not often enough. She can't travel anymore so she has to wait for others to come to her.

Based on my two grandmothers' experiences, I honestly think old age should be considered to be a terminal disease where we offer "compassionate care" as a dignified option.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

My grandma was the same as your grandmother, who passed away. She wished and waited for death ever since she turned 90; she was overall okay, but she was still in a lot of pain and was practically blind in one eye, and the other was going as well. 

She at least died in a peaceful sleep, so she didn't have to live through anymore pain than she had to.

My condolences for your grandmas death, and more power to your other grandma!

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