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I'm done with my job.
I hate the company because I'm ethically opposed to the business model, I want to actually help people instead of building more efficient ways to steal money from small businesses and the families of dead clients. On-top of that our latest manager is the next in a line of increasingly intense micromanagers who keeps looking at our engagement scores and is basically making our jobs harder and more annoying in response, he can't work out why it's getting worse...
I want a new job, anything that lets me actually help people. Hard to do when you don't have any official qualifications, a disability and are neurodivergent so interviews are a nightmare.
Do you have someone you can practice interviewing with? This is just an idea, but maybe you and a friend can slowly warm up to a challenging interview by working on one bit at a time, taking it slow. And I mean slow. Like maybe this weekend you can do an "interview" for a maximum of 5 minutes, and only practice introducing yourself. Then do it again next weekend. If you get comfortable, make it 6 minutes the third week and start talking about your past work. Then 7 minutes and include what you're seeking out of your future job. Then 8 minutes and have them start to ask challenging questions. Also, this might be horrible advice because I don't know you and I also hate interviewing! I will say, when you interview, be your authentic self because if they hire you as your inauthentic self, it might not end up being a great fit.
It's less the interview itself I'm worried about and more the coding tests most companies expect you to complete these days.
I'm a great programmer and problem solver, but a coding interview is exactly the wrong setting to demonstrate those skills because of the way they limit your tools and time. I also don't really work in a way that they're expecting, in the past I've lucked into faking it for entry level positions but I'm in a much more senior role now so the expectations are much higher. My current job never required such a test but they're basically the standard now.
I went from ethically questionable, highly-paid work to ethically-clean, medium-paid work and it’s one of the best moves I’ve ever made.
I was a software developer, am now an uber driver.
Being able to deliver on 95+% of my promises feels amazing. Back when I was in IT, I kept maybe 20% of my promises.
I’m saying this in order to say: mental health will improve with an improvement in the meaning and ethical cleanliness of your work. Being out of integrity with your conscience will make the neurodivergence and everything else worse (I have that too, and speak from experience).
My depression is basically gone. My social skills are better. I’m industrious in a way I never was before. I no longer have insomnia. I no longer have ulcer-like symptoms. My neurodivergence is more graceful and positive.
This is all to say that, as you change paths, the mental resources available to you will increase. It may not look like you have the supplies needed for the journey, but trust me when I say there’s resources and upgrades along the path.
Give yourself the effort required to get off that shitty path! You’re worth it!