this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2024
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[–] hissingmeerkat 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Everything. Or just this.

I need to get my car fixed so I can leave.
I need to empty out my car so I can get it fixed.
I need my car fixed so I can empty it out.
I need to go shopping so I have food.
I need to bike to go shopping.
I need to eat to bike.
I need food to eat.
I need to get paniers and a rack for a bike so I'm not so reliant on my car.
I need to get my car fixed so I'm not so reliant on a bike.
I need to find a therapist to feel safe.
I need to set up a computer to email every provider in a whole state to try to find one.
I need to set up a computer so I can work.
I need to feel safe to set up a computer.

Everything seems like the most important thing to do right now. I know the actual only important thing to do today is get food for at least 3 days so I can have at least 1 day when that's not a problem. I need someone to tell that to even though I'd already thought of that and thought that I have nobody to tell it to, so thank you for asking.

[–] otp 3 points 2 months ago

You might not need to empty out your car to get it fixed.

I've fixed some cars that are between "hoarder" and "they probably live in here". It's not the most pleasant thing, but it's possible.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

This sounds to me like an ADHD cycle of failing to know how to prioritize. Focus on your immediate needs and take this step by step. First, find something to eat. Pasta with ketchup if you have to. Now figure out how to do a round of shopping. Just one. Not how to do them the best way forever, just once poorly to get some easy to eat foods in your house. Step by step.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

When everything is precious nothing is precious, and that intermingled list of demands is pretty cluttery. No offense!

"Reliance" is a risk to mitigate, but mitigating risks shouldn't come at the expense of taking on more risk.

All the things you want to do are worthy and valuable but like you said, you just cannot do them at the same time, and I doubt they are quite as cyclically dependant as you think they are.

(For example, if you're in a pinch for transportation and you're willing to bike but cannot get one yet, you could try a bike share or scooter for a few dollars for a few hours... I have done this to get me home from dropping the car at the mechanic).

Try to organize those things into a clear roadmap, where things that cause more things to become easier are done first. Where you have cyclical dependencies, think outside the list to solve that problem.