this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2024
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politics

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Towards the appearance of neutrality, you mean. When person A says "2+2=4" and person B says "2+2=5", "neutrality" is not reporting some kind of false compromise at 4 1/2, but instead factually reporting that person A is correct and person B is wrong!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Stop oppressing me with your woke math and shit! It's my deeply held belief that two plus two equals five!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] L0rdMathias 9 points 1 month ago

We jest about bad math being called heritage, but remember that, sadly, 3/5 = 1 was unironically a huge part of their heritage.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For large values of 2 it can even approach 6.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're very good at conservative math.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Heh well conservatives are irrational, but then again. Sometimes numbers are too. But 2.999999999999 + 2.9999999999 is pretty darn close to 3.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I feel like the media would roll this out in the most bad-faith and then evolve it in the most malignant way possible:

  • Both candidates discuss 2+2
  • Person B passionately argues values on 2+2
  • Is person A too ingrained in the establishment to consider new ideas on 2+2?
  • Person B campaign staff says person B will likely "soften tone on 2+2" after they win election
  • Person B supporters wear "5" to latest rally
  • Experts weigh in on the true meaning of 4 1/2
  • Person B says "4 is low-energy just like person A"
  • Should a 4-believer really be president just because person B is a rapist and a felon?
  • Person B won the election and it's all your fault
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

They write completely content-less headlines and articles that are so "neutral" they look like they were written by an extraterrestrial attorney.

Guy A shoots guy B with a gun and they write it up as "spectators allege that the bullet that happened to strike B may likely have originated from the barrel of a gun that A has been said to have held in or around the same period where B happened to be struck".

I took journalism in high school and the instruction at the time was not to use the fucking passive voice...but that's all the motherfuckers use...even when covering extremely high stakes shit.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Didn't you know? According to Republicans, "Reality has a liberal bias."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

2+2 is actually 5 I've read it in a book with a bunch of numbers as a title. its basic knowledge, just like: War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength