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this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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Greentext
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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st peter at the pearly gates: "yup, looks like you're up 14 carts overall. welcome to heaven."
All sins and virtues get converted to cart return equivalent.
"14 carts positive, plus those 4 times you helped old ladies cross the street adds 12 more carts, minus 8 carts for the time you tried to help one but ended up punching her instead (it would have been 10 but it's reduced by 2 because Dionysus was watching that one and said even he would have had trouble holding his temper and he's a pretty chill dude). You're up 18 carts overall, congrats!"
"update, your next of kin bought 2 model golden shopping carts from the temple and put them by your gravestone, getting you to a nice round 20. here's your all-access pass to the Garden of Delights"