this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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Logical solutions to problems don't happen in many kinds of horror movies. Even the tiniest bit of common sense applied would destroy so many, cell phones or no.
That’s why I love Cabin in the woods. They make it a creepy movie, but also make fun of all the common horror tropes by having the haunted grounds be a very orchestrated event.
“Oh no my cell phone doesn’t work” It’s because the creepy org turned on a cell phone jammer
“Why don’t they just leave?” The creepy org blows up a shit load of tnt to make the tunnel collapse
"Why don't they find an alternate route out?" The creepy org put a fucking force field around the area.
That movie definitely ventured in to silly territory, but then it was quite directly a well-meaning parody of horror movies that kinda' HAD to get a bit silly to do too much with the premise.
Our group of teenagers should definitely split up to search for the monster and/or serial killer!
Rather than making a swift exit to anywhere else, we should instead hide in this building where we think the killer is
Oh my god! It's the killers childhood home where he brutally killed one of his family members in each room! Let's hide in there, but we should each find a hiding spot in a different room.
What if we kissed on the infanticide balcony
Let's walk right by the car we got here in and go house in the creepy building that we think the killer lives in and that we were too scared to enter before he killed our friends!
It would be kinda funny for someone to make something that starts as a horror movie but then everyone acts in a sensible manner without contrived reasons for their efforts failing, resulting in the whole dangerous situation falling apart over the course of the plot until its more a sort of parody of horror movies than a proper example.
That's just a normal movie
The best horror movies are the ones where all the characters act in a highly capable and intelligent way and the monster/force/whatever still keeps beating them. Like The Thing. Or Alien.
If only Hollywood paid good writers what they're worth.
I want a horror movie where some of the heroes are genre-savvy, Practical Guide to Evil style. I picture it starting as a horror, and shifting into a kind of heist storyline