this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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For example workplace harrasment by women towards males like touching or groping being ignored because the victim is male but if it where to happen to a woman by a male the male would be fired

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I don't think that's exactly true. As a woman I've had situations where I was questioned even when I knew exactly what I was talking about just because it was a traditionally male activity.

Yes, I know what type of battery I want for my car. Yes, I know it's uncommon, I checked if you had it in your website before I came here. Yes, I know how to install it and I don't want to pay you to do it. Shut up and take my money so I can leave.

I have several stories like this. In home renovation stores men that work there are always super opinionated on the problem that I'm trying to solve. I'm just looking for the supplies I want, I didn't ask for opinions.

It doesn't help that I'm small and look young, but still they should mind their own business.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No, it is. I had women joke and say “what are you, gay?”, then laugh when they find out I can sew. Have stitched up many a stuffed animal. The guys ask me where did I learn that?

“The army”

Oh, that’s cool.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I agree that men also get flack for doing activities associated with women, my answer to the original comment is disagreeing with the double standard part. I think it's bad both ways and therefore not a double standard

[–] starelfsc2 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Probably mostly to do with being a woman, though even if a nerdy looking dude came in they'd probably get similar treatment. Partially just how they expect someone who "knows what they're doing" to look like (mechanics knowledge = man in jeans)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Also, it's not just targeted at people perceived as "other" in many of these traditionally masculine realms.

Often, it seems like so many of these men see patronizing and second guessing as the only ways to establish and defend their own credibility on their given subject. It's not just the "oh it's a woman/someone who doesn't look the part...I bet they don't know what they're doing" factor, it's also that they're a product of the culture that tells them that the most important thing is that they're perceived as more knowledgeable than anyone else, and that the only way to establish that is to have their own opinions and views on every subject in the field, and then aggressively defend and promote those views while dismissing, undermining, and discouraging any views that conflict with theirs...or the people who hold those views.

And it's not just big picture "world view" type stuff. It's crap like, "which brand makes the best widget in your hobby?". If they're a "brand red" guy, they feel the need to not only let everyone know that they like brand red...they have to let everyone know that brand red is the best, and that it's objective, and that if you prefer brand blue, you're just a clueless newbie who hasn't learned yet. If you like brand green, well you've just been taken in by their marketing. And if you're one of those brand orange people, well you know what they say about those people...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Are you sure those home renovation workers weren't trying to make conversation, might even being bragging about their own project attempts and you being a women had nothing to do with how they interact with any other customer?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I can never be sure, I'm not inside their heads, but I don't remember ever seeing this behavior directed at my husband or dad when tagging along with them in similar situations.