this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
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Almost nothing is different but i feel less restricted.
It also important to note i am an autist and i have always felt like the expectation of society dont match my reality.
When i got together with my partner i did not have much experience and i warned her i might be asexual (i am not but sex remains overrated)
I am still a dad to my kids, a husband to my wife. Because in context to them my gender makes sense. There are definitely some gender stereotypes in our household even. Outside my household i just found i dont need to express gender, it rarely comes up. Very few people know but i am not hiding it.
I am super chill about pronouns though, you can call me whatever, as a teen i got upset when people thought i was a girl for my long hair, now a compliment.
The biggest perk is not caring about how many products are gendered, i just get the stuff i like no matter if its pink with flowers. I refuse to apologize or be embarrassed for my harmless expression of personal taste.
I have always questioned certain things like genders for clothes limiting my expression, i do not identify as a women but i do recognize a feminine part, there are typed of Victorian dresses that i think would look awesome with my long hair and a beard.
I am against alpha male bully attitudes and a much more emotional and softer person then is expected of me.
As an adult I realized i love dancing and i now know i might have even liked ballet but i never got into any of it cause dancing was for my sisters.
My Minecraft skin has always appeared more feminine and i know thats not just the guy plays girl trope. As an austist that game is some sort of sanctum for me to be myself. It may seem small but ut was one of the first clear positive feelings with female expression. I just didn’t know it yet but i already subconsciously understood that in virtual space expressing my biological sex has no point.
My dad has a complex history and was bullied into believing they where gay and was thought not to cry or show emotion. I turned that into the most Powerfull and brave thing you can do as a man (or other) is whatever you feel like and not care about how other people may perceive you as not fitting an expected standard. And emotions are just life, crying is psychological progress. Knowing what is good for you isn’t embarrassing.
I heard Nemo on eurosong, with the power that comes from them you can build twice the man my dad believed he acted like. Their song made me tell my partner about my realization. They took it well.
Thank you for taking time to answer my question, I really appreciate hearing your life story, hope you have an amazing, wonderful day!