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Are your grandparents and parents nice or tolerant people? (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

51 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I’ve just been out for food with parents (60’s) and nana (80’s) and I don’t know why I go as they leave me disheartened every time damn time.

In the short span of a couple of hours they (mainly my nana but parents will have silly views too) managed to comment on the number of black athletes at the Olympics (somehow being a bad thing), shit on the upcoming Para-olympics (quote: disabled people should just accept their lot and not try sport), protesters (of any kind) and questioning if any protests have ever been successful, to which I answered the suffragette‘s we’re pretty successful.

Complaining about people being spoilt these days at the same time as my nana confessing she was given food in a bowl at my aunties and refused to eat it unless it was on a plate (seems pretty spoilt to me). Asking for things to be like when she was younger, to which I asked if she was a fan of Nazi Germany as she grew up post WWII.

I guess I am wondering how can I come from a family that seemingly has no compassion for anybody and even less empathy for anybody different than them. They make me angry at times and I know I can be annoying my always challenging their bullshit views, but I can’t sit there and let people take utter nonsense like this.

I haven’t even covered half the awful stuff they say and their warped ideals.

Edit: The other one that irritates me is them (two women ) shitting on female athletes. Like WTF if a female wants to be a footballer what skin is it off their noses. Unless they just bitter they people have more choice to be themselves now.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I think we all have some things that we either don't talk about to maintain relationships. Of course usually thats respected by both sides.

Do they care that you call them out? Do you dislike doing it? If neither happens it can be useful for people to realize they're not necessarily holding a position that "everyone does". It's useful to be taken out of your bubble I think, and to see "regular people" can have different positions, and maybe try and understand why they do. It might change someone's mind.

If course if they or you get worked up by the discussion and no one is getting anything out of it, no one is even 'agree to disagree' and it's just causing everyone stress... Then you need to clearly lay out that you don't like those sorts of comments.

If they ignore you, then you need to decide how much you want the relationship. You could say "I'm serious about these comments. If you don't want to stop then you need to decide how much you want to see or interact with me. Because I am willing to just avoid these discussions, but I will not keep hearing these comments, and will stop coming."