Ask Lemmy

27258 readers

1664 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

candyman337

[email protected]

What are the advantages and disadvantages of being in a relationship? (lemmy.nz)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

95 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Third answer, then I'm done.

Disadvantages, and how I mitigate them:

Shift in hobbies. We have shared passions and different passions. There are some hobbies that my partner doesn't love that I don't love enough to do without my partner. I still make time, alone, for my favorite solo hobbies. So does my partner. We have more shared hobbies now. And we have some parallel hobbies (where do we totally separate things, at the same time, and sometimes we compete to be the most boring in hope that the kids will get into the other partner's hobby, instead, for a few minutes.)
I had a weird belief that I should stop masturbating once in a relationship. It took me awhile to figure out that, sure, there can be a timing aspect to having a particularly good time, but what everyone really loves is someone who can still take care of themselves.
Time alone - my partner and I try to send each-other out, alone, at least a couple times each month. We're all objectively delightful, but everyone needs a break.
Sleeping together is nice, sometimes sleeping alone is better. I'm increasingly a subscriber to John Hodgeman's opinion that everyone, who can, should try to set up a "guest" sleeping spot for either spouse to retreat to. A recliner can be great, because it's often when someone had a cold and needs to sleep elevated anyway.
Religion and politics. My religious and political beliefs have shifted continentally since I committed to my partner. So have my partner's, and not always in the same direction. I choose my partner over my favorite politician or pastor. This wasn't a hard choice for me - my favorite politician and my favorite pastor have never touched me in ways that arouse me... Thankfully.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sleeping together is nice, sometimes sleeping alone is better. I'm increasingly a subscriber to John Hodgeman's opinion that everyone, who can, should try to set up a "guest" sleeping spot for either spouse to retreat to. A recliner can be great, because it's often when someone had a cold and needs to sleep elevated anyway.

My SO and I sleep alone because I move too much in my sleep. My bff and their SO does the same for similar reasons. Sleeping separately doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it’s a practicality.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Sleeping separately doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it’s a practicality.

Yeah. I felt silly that it took me so long to figure out that my partner was not worried about it. They do love some cuddles, but I've found plenty of ways to make that happen.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

my favorite politician and my favorite pastor have never touched me in ways that arouse me... Thankfully.