this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2024
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I was denied a mathematics education, for real. I can't even do long division, nevermind that squiggly F shit. I thought that stuff was only for astrophysicists.
I want to learn basic maths, but I'm in a 'learned helplessness' mindset where I can't even get through basic sums and equations intended for children (I'm old as fuck now).
I was diagnosed with autism a few years back, which kinda made no sense. I would have expected rainman powers, but numbers just don't jive with my cunt of a brain. Maths is as inscrutable to me as people's faces or social cues.
You might also have discalcula, which is a real but somewhat uncommon thing where you're absolutely shit at math. I have no idea how to get tested for it though.
Cousin of dracula?
Close. Cousin of dyslexia.
Dis Calcula eatin beans!
Khan academy can solve this for you, if you want.
+1
I was going to suggest Khan Academy. You can start at any grade level and work your way up.
OP take your time and sit down with pencil and paper.
don't let yourself get discouraged, math isn't everything ^^
Just go on Khan academy and do a lesson a day. It will take time(years) but you'll learn.
I transferred schools in the middle of 10th grade, and the new Algebra class I landed in was several chapters ahead. I never caught up, but the teacher passed anyone who turned in literally anything for homework so I did that.
Now in my 30's I'm getting into indie game design, and I need that gap filled so I can write the code I need. So I went to the local thrift shop and picked up a couple old textbooks (since it's safe to assume that nothing groundbreaking has happened in the field of basic algebra in the past twenty years) for fifty cents and I've been working my way through them. I don't understand everything that's happening, but I'm pushing ahead with the faith that somewhere along the line things will "click".
You might enjoy Freya Holmér's videos - I mostly know her for her excellent mathsy video essays, but she has loads of videos about "maths for game Devs" that might be useful.
If you actually want to learn maths (that is, if you're not just venting), you could try to ask for help in dedicated math or teaching communities.
The problem with teaching stuff you know, is to put yourself in a position of actually not knowing anything. I'm a software developer and had to teach some apprentices a few years ago, and it was really eye opening to me to see how much assumptions about the apprentice's knowledge I made even though I thought I made my explanation "basic".
It's quite possible that all the tutorials you've read are either for literal children, so they just don't work for your adult brain, or they're intended for adults and assume too much.
On a personal note: how did you get into that situation? Were you home schooled?
I did an honors math+cs degree. I'm pretty good at advanced math. I never learned long division. Don't feel bad about that.
(In case any other mathy people read this and wonder how I could understand ring theory without Euclid's division algorithm, relax)
I'm autistic too and I had to relearn math as an adult. Now I know calculus and advanced mathematics.
I can go find some book recommendations, but when I was first learning I really got a lot out of watching The Organic Chemistry Tutor.