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It's literally the most logical and ethical rationale that could be achieved. The ethical and logical rationale is that sexual dimorphism exists, and we understand it quite succinctly.
They are separated by sex, because people are separated by sex characteristics.
Since Gender no longer refers to sex, it only refers to perceived place in society, it has no place being used as a metric for sports.
Intersex people exist and the variation of people assigned one sex or the other is damn near infinite so no, the assertion that sex is binary is really only ever used to exclude transgender people and intersex people from rights and to assert that there is a biological basis for assigned gender roles. Sex is dimorphic because we choose to describe it that way, we could just as easily have more sexes just by creating more categories based on aspects of human physiology.
And I'm female, so the only ethical rationale would be that I would compete with other people that we consider female.
If I'm born crippled, I can't compete in the Olympics. It happens. We can only produce the closest thing to fair that we all agree on. It's not to exclude transgender people, it's simply that the exclusion just happens to exist based on how we determine eligibility.
So yeah it isn't fair, so we can stop saying that excluding trans women is about fairness then.
If the variation is so wide, then gendered sports are completely pointless. With such a wide variation, and the non binary nature of sex you describe, we could either make a ton of pockets, or simply not make any.