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How does it feel being in a relationship? (lemm.ee)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

123 comments fedilink hide all child comments

The fact I'll die alone without ever feeling the love of a woman besides my mother and without a child saddens me. So, as kind of a consolation, I want to know... How does it feel? Being in love and being together, the sex part, just living together and all that...

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[–] hellothere 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Now you're just lying to yourself, this is from my original comment.

Many, many, years and 3 more failed relationships on, I'm 9 years in to a very stable long term relationship with someone I absolutely adore. My single goal is to not repeat the same mistakes as before, and we tackle everything as a team. If we're feeling uneasy we speak to each other and help each other. I'm so proud of what we have built together. She is the smartest, most empathetic and kindest person I know. I count myself so lucky that she is my best friend, a willing big spoon, and I get to play with her boobies. It's incredible.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

You literally told me what to do even when I didn't asked for it. There you're just picking a extract of your answer. If it was only that then it would've been ok, clown.

[–] hellothere 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If it was only that, it wouldn't be representative of reality. For me to be able to have a good relationship required a lot of change. Namely I had to accept some responsibility for my situation and stop pretending it was only other people's fault.

A relationship is a partnership, it requires everyone involved to bring good things to it. If they don't, it will fail.

You don't have to be beautiful, or rich, or famous to be in a relationship, but if you aren't nice to speak to, or be around, trustworthy, caring, considerate, etc, why would anyone want to spend their life with you?

You refuse to except your attitude and actions have contributed in any way to your situation. As a result, you will never be in a relationship.

It's your decision. Your circumstances won't change over night, it will take a long time and a lot of work, but if you really want to, you're absolutely capable of it. You are not fundamentally broken and irreparable.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

You realize way worse people in this fucking planet managed to marry and have kids right? I'm a fucking saint in comparison. I'm not got to change shit in my life, I don't wanna become someone else. That's the way I am, I'm nobody's friend, nobody enemy. I'm loyal and don't betray anyone, if that isn't enough for the world, then fuck'em. It is their fault not mine. I'm not a fucking criminal for being myself.

[–] hellothere 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

So your bar is what, not being an absolute cunt?

You're aware that people are not typically in consentual relationships with bad people, right?

Being shit scared of your partner is not a good thing.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Scared? You speak like I'm about to hit a woman. I don't want to become someone else, I will never change. Blame the world for that. Nothing is going to change because the world still the fucking same. I'm not going to move a single finger just to be more "appetizable". Fuck them

[–] hellothere 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

No, I don't think you're going to hit someone, but you did say worse people than you are in relationships, and I was reminding you that bad people do hit women, and scare them in to never leaving. Neither of us think that is the type of relationship you want.

As I've said before, one day you'll realise that your attitude contributes to - but didn't create - your situation. Insisting you are utterly powerless keeps you in that hole.

I am not saying you need to change. What I am saying is that the negative part of your personality is drowning out all other parts. Those parts are still there, they are still as much a part of you as they always were, but you just can't hear them.

You are not helpless, you are not broken.

When was the last time you can remember being happy? Think back, it may have been a very long time ago, what was it you were doing?

[–] [email protected] -4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You don't fucking know me. If I'm telling you that is the reality, is because it fucking is. I haven't been happy since I stopped being a child. Big fucking deal, I'm still here. And I won't kill myself. The world can suck my dick if they don't want me.

[–] hellothere 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What happened when you stopped being a child?

[–] [email protected] -3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Dude give up and fuck off.

Nothing will change and I don't want your "help" you're not helping anyone.

[–] hellothere 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Fair enough. Enjoy your life.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 6 months ago

I won't.