this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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Don’t You Know Who I Am?
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Gender isn't sex. Their gender is what's in their brain, not what's in their pants. I thought this would be obvious by now but I guess not.
I'm gonna throw a common metaphor at you. See my previous post in here for a more thoughtful exposition on my gender experience.
Gender is kind of like shoes. If you have the right kind of shoe, well fitted, on the right feet, you don't think about your shoes much at all. You know you have a certain type or brand of shoes on, but it's not an essential element of your daily life. You're not constantly aware of them. This parallels the common cisgender notion that the self isn't gendered, that "there is a just a human in your head." If your shoes are too small, on the wrong feet, or made wrong for your feet, it's a whole problem all fucking day. It's uncomfortable and disorienting. It's distracting and persistent. Over time, it becomes painful, and you use increasing amounts of focus and energy dealing with your footwear incompatibility. This is what being gender incongruent is like. You spend huge amounts of time and energy trying to deal with a profound discomfort and incompatibility that nobody else understands or acknowledges because their shoes are fine.
Their are neurological and therefore psychological differences between people of different genders. These are normally aligned with their physical sex and hormones. When there is a misalignment between gender and sex that's what trans people are. It's not belief, it's brain structure.
Do you not feel attached to your birth gender at all? Or any other gender? Like if you woke up in a body of the opposite sex would you be okay with that?
Statements like this sometimes make me thing the person I am talking to is either very ignorant or a very confused agender person.