this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
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It just kinda sounds like OP is growing up, and a big part of that is embracing who you are, faults and all. You learn that masculinity is a stupid concept and one that is largely unattainable for many, and you also learn that outward perception often isn't the full reality of someone's life.
I've known manly guys that are struggling with demons, family men with a string of former partners that lost their virginity to a hooker in their late twenties, autistic people that embraced their lot in life and have great success, and people with millions in the bank that are struggling to get by. We've all got our own shit to deal with, and in the nicest possible way, no one cares about your issues. We make do, and we live with it.
My father was very successful and read the memoire of someone he knew in business who he thought "had life figured out." Seeing that the guy struggled internally with all the same problems we all have changed his life. His telling me that story changed mine. We're all human; even those who seem to have a perfect life live with doubt and anxiety. It just manifests in different ways and we cope in different ways.