this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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This is a serious question, mostly addressed to the adult women among us but also to anyone else who has a stake in the matter.

What did your father do for you/not do for you, that you needed?

Context: I have recently become a father to a daughter, with a mother whose father was not around when she was growing up. I won't bore you all with the details but our daughter is here now and I am realising that I'm the only one in our little family who has really had a father before. But I have never been a girl. And I know that as a boy, my relationships with my mother and father were massively influential and powerful but at the same time radically different to each other. People say that daughters and fathers have a unique relationship too.

Question: What was your father to you? What matters the most when it comes to a father making his daughter loved, safe, confident and free? To live a good life as an adult?

I'd like this to be a mature, personal and real discussion about daughters and fathers, rather than a political thing, so I humbly ask to please speak from the heart and not the head on this one :)

Thank you

P.S Apologies if this question is badly written or conceived; I haven't been getting enough sleep! It is what it is!

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Everyone says 'listen' but I would suggest one way to act on that advice. This is more of a general parenting advice for small kids (or all kids?).

Let them choose what to do. If their interested in soccer, give that a try. If they want to learn about ants, let them observe, guide them through the thoughts.

Play is dictated by their interests, not your expectations or dreams. This way there is much less struggle, save for the times you really need, and learning and play get tied together.