this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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Asklemmy
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I actually agree with parts of your underlying idea, but your tone is so awful that you're convincing people to disagree with you.
You could be like : "I believe in cats because of cat videos."
But instead you're like : "What are you? Some kinda ducking idiot? You never seen a cat video? You scared of cats bro?! Small minded population can't accept cats!"
Surely you understand tone? I hope you are only like this on the internet.
Do you understand tone? Do you comprehend that there’s more to my message than “I think aliens exist”?
Yes. Like I said I agree with a lot of your points. My examples are intentionally oversimplified to avoid diluting the idea I want to demonstrate.
I hope you understand that I'm trying to help you communicate more effectively, because i think that what you are communicating is valid.
Not everything is an argument. It's important to understand when people are helping you, or you end up attacking allies. We are likely on the same side.
You’re helping me with the goal you assume I have.
It’s condescending because instead of inferring my communication goals from my message, you assume the message is poorly crafted because it doesn’t effectively reach that goal.
I was hoping to lead you do this realization indirectly, but I’ll just come out and say it: my goal with that comment was to express my feelings. Do you feel that you know how I feel about this topic, having read my comment?
That’s why I asked whether you understand what tone is. You seem to think tone is a lubricant that makes manipulating others’ opinions go easier. I disagree. I think tone is an expression of emotion.
Ask yourself honestly. Did you get a good sense of how I feel about this, from reading my comment? If you did, then I succeeded in my communications goal.
Since we’re doing unsolicited advice, I’d say take it easy on the assumptions of others’ incompetence when you’re encountering them for the first time.
Fair points.