Get Motivated!

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/hibirdie on 2024-01-01 05:49:04+00:00.

I have adhd and have been battling depression for a couple years. I want to start treating the adhd with actions and mindset shifts and I'm having a hard time navigating first steps. I usually go to therapy but am not currently able to at the moment. I know what lifestyle changes need to happen, but I find myself so inhibited to actually make moves. I don't understand it. I'm not looking to start any meds.

Can anyone help with some starter steps/advice? I don't know where or how to start.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/No_Comment_1037 on 2024-01-01 05:08:42+00:00.

M36 - Divorced and commitment phobic- lost on how to end this cycle of modern dating

I am lost in life , have commitment phobia since my teenage years- have been lucky to meet amazing women in life, best experiences of my life. But for one reason or the other as soon as at shit starts getting real I chicken out. It pains me out so much that I have never been able to commit. I want to believe I am not a bad human being and the two exes I said no to to commit I feel bad for all the pain I passed on to them. I have had my share of bad karma and girls rejecting me in last few years.

I want to move past all the commitment phobia and really want to build a family now in 2024. I met a decent girl two months ago we are seeing each other - things are okay- she is amazing human, close to family and ambitious in her career but she is not that attractive( I am sorry if I hurt anyone with that comment- just what I feel ). I obviously don’t know how to be in a successful relationship and I fear I am not head over heels with her like I was in my last relationship. I feel that might bother me in future. My biggest fear is if I commit to her and we become exclusive what if I start feeling that I don’t love her and it was mostly to fill the void in life.. I don’t think anyone else can answer this question but any advice how tackle this And get over this phobia.

I don’t want to break her heart - is it okay if I share my feelings with her and build our relationship ( if it is meant to be it ll happen)

Any advice will be appreciated my intent is to build my life with someone who want to build with me and vice versa.

I hope and pray I can get over fears and by next year I am settled

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/mayankgupta1802 on 2024-01-01 03:52:59+00:00.

About - Working with timelines, but creating a sense of fake urgency.

We humans tend to work more efficiently in a manageable amount of pressure. Too much pressure is obviously bad, and detrimental to our thinking capability and our output. But too less pressure also relaxes us and reduces our overall efficiency. So, I introduce this very useful concept – fake urgency.

As the name suggests, you put yourself in an urgent situation when it is really not. You attach a fake and prior deadline for completing a certain task. This way you keep some buffer for yourself to manage delays. Like – you may have to complete a presentation by 20th of the month. You attach a deadline of 15th. And when you reach near 15th, you work on it aggressively and complete it by 15th, even though you know that the real date is 20th.

Note that you need to be able to good at prioritisation to be able to start utilising the concept of fake urgency. If you prioritise something that’s not very important and attach a fake deadline to it, you’ll be able to finish it much earlier. But then the real priority task will get delayed, and you’ll end up working on it in real urgency! Note that Fake urgency has to be realistic urgency as well.  

Let me know your feedback on this post. Happy to connect if you need more details

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/DetectiveJakePeraIta on 2024-01-01 00:28:42+00:00.

Used to be good friends with a girl in school. I am always really bad at staying in touch. To the point where I just don’t. Don’t really know why either. I just don’t. Guess I don’t understand how.

Anyway I was good friends with this girl called Jay, hadn’t seen her since graduation in 21. Then I saw her again at the grocery store in august 22. She actually suggested a reunion back then, never happened of course. I should have sent her a message or something sooner. But I didn’t.

But I did just now. Said “hey Jay, we haven’t spoken in a while but I wanted to wish you a happy new year.” She replied, pretty much mirroring my message. I wonder how I should go about this? Should I respond rn or should I wait until tomorrow as it’s 1:00 am here now? And what should I even say? I’d like to do that reunion. Should I apologize for not reaching out? Should I immediately ask if she still wants that reunion?

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/youknowtis on 2023-12-31 19:10:56+00:00.

If we wrote em down, we can reference throughout the year!

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/ToonKiller on 2023-12-31 18:51:54+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/youknowtis on 2023-12-31 19:10:56+00:00.

If we wrote em down, we can reference throughout the year!

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/ToonKiller on 2023-12-31 18:51:54+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Foxfully on 2023-12-31 12:54:19+00:00.

There's 52 weeks in a year. That's not a lot of time!

12 months sounds like a lot because how long a single month can feel, and 365 days is an unquantifiably large number in one's mind.

But 52 weeks--that feels more real.

Think of it like this:

You have 52 chips to spend at the poker table. The only win you can take home is a genuinely satisfying year. You can't play it safe, because every round will inevitably drain your pot, one chip at a time. You're going to have to gamble on ideas and projects that may or may not end up adding to your life--and half-assing any one bet means you already wasted the chips you wagered. Every move is as much of a risk as it is an opportunity.

So what to do?

There's no crystal ball, and every year will surely hit you with one or more dark periods. They are terrible times where playing the game will feel inconsequential. Trivial. A luxury. Those weeks where you're struggling just to stay afloat.

But the chips keep disappearing from the table.

Fall as they may, you will be afforded no reprieve from time or regret.

It's stressful. It's exciting. And to make my weeks count, I've decided to record them right here, every week.

Every New Year's I'm filled with immense regret and disdain for my actions. I look back and cringe at who I was and the decisions I made. Sure, it wasn't all bad, but never have I been able to look back at year and feel "wow, I really gave it everything I had."

I have specific goals like anyone else, but their essence can be summarized in a single New Year's resolution:

"I want to live 2024 in such a way that the next New Year's Eve may be cause for celebration of a tremendous year."

Imagine that feeling. To be able to lean back on New Year's eve with a big smile and small regrets. They're small regrets because you spent 52 weeks painstakingly chipping away at each one, once giant and insurmountable, working hard to make them as minuscule as possible.

It's only realistic to assume that you will always have what-ifs, and that's normal. But they're tiny now. They pale in comparison to how hard you've worked and how content you feel.

As mentioned above, every week I will attempt to be consistent with my updates. They're not going to be big entries, but rather a weekly check-in I hope can inspire someone else. I'll group my goals and habits into categories and let you know how I'm faring in each one.

If you're interested in following along, I'll upload my update posts every Sunday starting January 7th. However, the first post will likely be a short one considering I won't be back home & ready to go until the 4th.

Let's do this, and ensure these 52 weeks are something we can finally be proud of!

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Foxfully on 2023-12-31 12:54:19+00:00.

There's 52 weeks in a year. That's not a lot of time!

12 months sounds like a lot because how long a single month can feel, and 365 days is an unquantifiably large number in one's mind.

But 52 weeks--that feels more real.

Think of it like this:

You have 52 chips to spend at the poker table. The only win you can take home is a genuinely satisfying year. You can't play it safe, because every round will inevitably drain your pot, one chip at a time. You're going to have to gamble on ideas and projects that may or may not end up adding to your life--and half-assing any one bet means you already wasted the chips you wagered. Every move is as much of a risk as it is an opportunity.

So what to do?

There's no crystal ball, and every year will surely hit you with one or more dark periods. They are terrible times where playing the game will feel inconsequential. Trivial. A luxury. Those weeks where you're struggling just to stay afloat.

But the chips keep disappearing from the table.

Fall as they may, you will be afforded no reprieve from time or regret.

It's stressful. It's exciting. And to make my weeks count, I've decided to record them right here, every week.

Every New Year's I'm filled with immense regret and disdain for my actions. I look back and cringe at who I was and the decisions I made. Sure, it wasn't all bad, but never have I been able to look back at year and feel "wow, I really gave it everything I had."

I have specific goals like anyone else, but their essence can be summarized in a single New Year's resolution:

"I want to live 2024 in such a way that the next New Year's Eve may be cause for celebration of a tremendous year."

Imagine that feeling. To be able to lean back on New Year's eve with a big smile and small regrets. They're small regrets because you spent 52 weeks painstakingly chipping away at each one, once giant and insurmountable, working hard to make them as minuscule as possible.

It's only realistic to assume that you will always have what-ifs, and that's normal. But they're tiny now. They pale in comparison to how hard you've worked and how content you feel.

As mentioned above, every week I will attempt to be consistent with my updates. They're not going to be big entries, but rather a weekly check-in I hope can inspire someone else. I'll group my goals and habits into categories and let you know how I'm faring in each one.

If you're interested in following along, I'll upload my update posts every Sunday starting January 7th. However, the first post will likely be a short one considering I won't be back home & ready to go until the 4th.

Let's do this, and ensure these 52 weeks are something we can finally be proud of!

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Chandan28 on 2023-12-31 10:15:25+00:00.

Tomorrow is the first day of the new year.

Start this new year with some good work.

If you do good, you will get good.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/MJdigi_Mark on 2023-12-31 06:10:49+00:00.

Decide to make a difference today my friend, Today Is your day. We don't have time to wait until tomorrow.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/mayankgupta1802 on 2023-12-31 04:26:50+00:00.

About - Bias for action! Take action rather than just discussing….

Got this story from the internet - Once upon a time, there was lack of rain in a village. All the villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer, all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella. That is faith.

I say, this is also the fact that the boy expected the prayers to conclude, to yield a result.

How many times do you go to a meeting or discussion, with an expectation that the meeting will conclude in identifying some results and action items. And how many times it really happens? I have seen numerous meetings where everyone is busy discussing, arguing, debating. But they are all going in circles, causing deadlocks. No one is focussing on breaking the deadlock, on listing down the next actions. And it causes inefficiencies, wastages and more deadlocks.

My sincere request - always have bias for action. Bias for action (or action bias) is the tendency to favour action over inaction. Feel compelled to act, even when you don't have all the information you need or are uncertain about the outcome. Start small, but at least start somewhere. Don’t just keep rotating at the same point with no real advancements.

So next time - when you have lights, camera and sound all in place, just say ‘Action!’. Don’t wait. Even if you don’t have some of those, still take action and arrange those. Don’t just sit and wait.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Dark-GV on 2023-12-31 02:52:19+00:00.

Do not be like others and start on 2024, it’s a trap!

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/cranberry_soda37326 on 2023-12-31 02:15:16+00:00.

I usually don’t make any new year’s resolutions, but in the past few weeks I really felt the need to try and flip my life 180 degrees after finally finding a purpose to my life instead of just floating by doing the bare minimum.

I have been planning and slowly incorporating some the things I want to improve, making trackers, inspo boards, and writing down my motivation for my various resolutions. I made my goals into SMART goals, and although it would be great to be perfect, I have improvement (not perfection) in mind. For example, although ideally I want to 8 hours of sleep every day, I am just currently trying to increase the frequency of how often I reach that goal with my trackers and trying to implement new routines.

After reading a few comments about new year’s resolutions on here though, it seems like so many people are convinced that new year’s resolutions don’t work or don’t last long.

Does anyone have success stories of their resolutions or of building habits? What are some tips that can help me maintain my new habits and work towards my goals?

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/mayankgupta1802 on 2023-12-31 04:26:50+00:00.

About - Bias for action! Take action rather than just discussing….

Got this story from the internet - Once upon a time, there was lack of rain in a village. All the villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer, all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella. That is faith.

I say, this is also the fact that the boy expected the prayers to conclude, to yield a result.

How many times do you go to a meeting or discussion, with an expectation that the meeting will conclude in identifying some results and action items. And how many times it really happens? I have seen numerous meetings where everyone is busy discussing, arguing, debating. But they are all going in circles, causing deadlocks. No one is focussing on breaking the deadlock, on listing down the next actions. And it causes inefficiencies, wastages and more deadlocks.

My sincere request - always have bias for action. Bias for action (or action bias) is the tendency to favour action over inaction. Feel compelled to act, even when you don't have all the information you need or are uncertain about the outcome. Start small, but at least start somewhere. Don’t just keep rotating at the same point with no real advancements.

So next time - when you have lights, camera and sound all in place, just say ‘Action!’. Don’t wait. Even if you don’t have some of those, still take action and arrange those. Don’t just sit and wait.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Dark-GV on 2023-12-31 02:52:19+00:00.

Do not be like others and start on 2024, it’s a trap!

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/cranberry_soda37326 on 2023-12-31 02:15:16+00:00.

I usually don’t make any new year’s resolutions, but in the past few weeks I really felt the need to try and flip my life 180 degrees after finally finding a purpose to my life instead of just floating by doing the bare minimum.

I have been planning and slowly incorporating some the things I want to improve, making trackers, inspo boards, and writing down my motivation for my various resolutions. I made my goals into SMART goals, and although it would be great to be perfect, I have improvement (not perfection) in mind. For example, although ideally I want to 8 hours of sleep every day, I am just currently trying to increase the frequency of how often I reach that goal with my trackers and trying to implement new routines.

After reading a few comments about new year’s resolutions on here though, it seems like so many people are convinced that new year’s resolutions don’t work or don’t last long.

Does anyone have success stories of their resolutions or of building habits? What are some tips that can help me maintain my new habits and work towards my goals?

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Weapon3600 on 2023-12-31 00:18:37+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/clmtt on 2023-12-30 23:18:30+00:00.

I’ve always been an emotionally distant person. As someone who went through major social difficulties as a kid, I’ve grown to be distant. I have some friends and family close by, but I never allow myself to be close to people. I’ve lost some really nice friends because of that.

My spouse, although we have a great marriage, constantly complains I close myself up and can never talk about my feelings.

I want to get close to friends again. I want to start talking to old acquaintances again. Even if it is to find out we don’t have anything in common anymore. I want to face emotions and relationships head on. I want to take the lead in conversations, to call people, to be open.

Those are all my goals. But I don’t know where to start. What advice would you give me?

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/khaksar3g on 2023-12-30 20:12:34+00:00.

If you know how quickly people forget the dead. You will stop living to impress people.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/debugger_life on 2023-12-30 18:04:16+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Hamerdesk55 on 2023-12-30 17:08:16+00:00.

I’ve never felt the need to join the 5am club, or lock my phone away during the day, or do any of those other hacks that productivity gurus are constantly preaching.

But something feels different about 2024. I’m suddenly extremely motivated to really, and I mean really, take control of my life and reach my full potential. I don’t know if it’s something in the air, or just the nice even-number year, but I have this urge to make 2024 my bitch.

If you guys are interested (and maybe it will motivate you too), here are the main habits that I am going to STICK WITH this year to absolutely kill it.

Meditation. It all starts at the base. A sound mind will put you in the position to crush every day ahead of you. I’ve found that whenever I meditate for 20 minutes in the morning, my ADHD is significantly less distracting throughout the entire day. And when I have time for a second session in the afternoon, I am a monk-like animal. Something about forcing your monkey brain to sit the fuck still for long enough, and then you get used to it.

Limiting Screen Time. I’m so close to the point in believing that phones are evil. They have this crazy power to make me want to check it every 2 minutes, and then get sucked into social media every time I do. And it’s not just the actual time that I spend on my phone that’s lost, the constant context switching makes me lose the ENTIRE day. The “Present - Screen Time” app has been an absolute GAME CHANGER for me recently - giving me reminders when scrolling too long, blocking apps for focus sessions, and actually letting me compete against my friends for lower screen time - all in a gamified way.

Exercise. A sounds body creates a sound mind. I’ve never been overweight, but I’ve also never been able to get into a consistent exercise routine. And I know it’s holding me back from having the energy I need to just absolutely kill it. I’ve decided that I’m going to splurge a bit on 10 personal training sessions in the New Year to give me the momentum I need..

Environment. Okay, this isn’t a habit, but environment is everything. I live in New York City - been here for 5 years now. I used to love it, but it’s been completely weighing on my soul recently. The lack of sunlight and fresh air, drinking culture, small shitty apartment, homeless people everywhere. It’s just depressing and demoralizing. I want to move somewhere warm, with sunlight, and lower cost of living. Somewhere where I can work from home and feel happy, not claustrophobic. Suggestions very much appreciated!

There’s so many productivity tools and tricks out there, it can be extremely overwhelming. But I welcome any suggestions to help me reach my goals this year.

I feel the motivation seething through my veins just by writing this. I’ve had some good momentum the past month starting on these habits, and I can just feel that 2024 is going to be my year. Make it your year too. Make 2024 your bitch...

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/tim-sutherland on 2023-12-30 14:45:47+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/5ivesos on 2023-12-30 14:03:45+00:00.

What are some bite-sized goals you have for 2024?

I’ve never liked New Year’s resolutions as they’re often so big and grand and vague. I’ve been into settings 20-30 bite-sized goals instead every year, things that help me build habits: eg some from this year were to listen to a news podcast during breakfast every day for a week, run 100km in a month, and practice a language daily for two weeks.

What are some bite-sized goals you’re setting for yourself for 2024?