if you are a tech person, definitely take a look at HomeAssistant! https://www.home-assistant.io/
get notifications to your phone and off course, remotely control the system as well. here's an easy guide to get started for HA as an alarm system https://youtu.be/1IuYWsR5M4c
that should give u an idea of how HA works. then add lights, cams, audio, whatever as u want
most people like the amcrest ad410. easy as seen here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leGsc11h5aw
Reolink also makes a nice alternative