Sounds like flatpaks/appimages with extra steps
Includes all dependencies? ✔️
A single file? ✔️
Independent of host libraries? ✔️
Limited learning curve? ✔️
Not sure how appimages handle it internally, but with flatpaks you can even be storage efficient with layers, whereas 100s of static binaries could contain an awful lot of duplicates.
GCVE is more confusing if anything