stinky

Why do I "have" to give that much info? Why doesn't she "have" to understand from context that those details aren't important? It seems like you're putting the social responsibility of her understanding on me and I'm confused as to why.

Also, and not to be rude, I wasn't asking you for details, I was asking Grimy. Sorry. Their answer is important to me.

Are you the same person as Crackhappy? I was asking them for details about their answer. I'm not sure if your instance allows multiboxing but if not you might consider logging in with the correct account before posting.

it seems like you already knew you messed up

I'm sorry but this is wrong, despite what it seemed like. I'm trying to get some outside perspective; that doesn't mean I'm obligated to accept hurtful speculation about my relationship. If someone offers me a glass of beer with piss in it, I'm not required to extend gratitude. If you sense me "fighting against everyone who disagreed with me" then you can keep your beer. Scroll down friend, I've gotten what I needed from people with better emotional regulation than you. Some of the folks that I disagreed with in this post have offered insight for which I've responded appropriately. This isn't about you, stop being a dick.

I should? What else should I be doing in this relationship? Lol. You keep saying I should get help, but I think you're got a weird idea about what help is. Seems like your idea of "help" is minimizing other people's pain and ignoring context when it's convenient. I'll pass, thanks. I'm going to ban you from my instance so you won't be able to respond like this any further, it's hurtful and I deserve better.

All of my relationships are not like this -- that's why I've only ever posted about this one relationship. Where did you get that from? If reading comprehension isn't your strong suit, maybe you could reach out to your educational facility for a refund, assuming you paid for it.

"I want x from you"

"No, I don't want to give you x"

"Argument"

The specifics of x (in this case, buying something for someone else) aren't relevant. Saying that the person who demands x is caring and the person who wants to keep it is belittling their good nature doesn't make any sense and I doubt I'll ever understand your quality of thinking but thanks for trying, I guess. 🫱

I don't get to act on presumed intent, I get to act on present behavior. We'd all be a mess if we were obligated to guess what everyone else wanted. And the behavior was, "I want to buy something for you" --> my agreement --> "that's not enough for me, give me more". Notice that waste never came into the discussion, even after the conversation ended with me cancelling the purchase of the products, which you could have intuited meant there would be no waste

Why "should" I have offered more detail, when I didn't care about the details? I was already caving and giving her something she wanted, something that directly conflicted with what I wanted. And I did it politely. I didn't "rant" until she asked for something more, after I already conceded. This isn't a gotcha. I'm asking for your input here. Why am I a jerk for not giving more, when I already caved?